¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹é*Çö
2021-07-11 550

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If i do business, i will open psychology counseling center
Because, i want to help another people.
I want to do counseling for mind sick people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Hyeon! ^^

The best option is always to make or sell a product or service that you know about and love. If you¡¯re looking for someplace to score a short-term hit just for the sake of reaping a financial gain, that¡¯s fine – get in; make your money; and get out. But if you¡¯re looking to start a business for the long haul that suits your temperament, your strengths and the lifestyle you want, you must choose a business that you love.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If i do business, i will open psychology counseling center
>> If I will open my own business, I will open a psychology counseling center because I want to help other people. 

Because, i want to help another people.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

I want to do counseling for mind sick people.
>> I want to do counseling for people who have problems with their mental health. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111189 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 325
111188 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 337
111187 Can you be happy if you are poor? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 1
111186 In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of studying at home? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 364
111185 Rainy day Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 509
111184 How old are you? ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 1
111183 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 363
111182 Homework Àü*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 277
111181 Nowadays employment options are changing and employees cannot... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 285
111180 If you were a medical student during the time of the pandemic,... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 303
111179 17th homewokr Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 3
111178 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111177 Writing task: What are the best ways to make a good first... Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111176 Things for School ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 340
111175 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 3
111174 Do you think you will live until a ripe old age? Why or why not? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 0
111173 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 400
111172 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 8
111171 21/08/24 ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 340
111170 Korea to consider animals not things À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04