무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Hansel and Gretel shouldn\'t be known!

작성자: 김*랑
2021-07-12 389

회원님의 영작문



I think Hansel and Gretel shouldn't be known. First of all, in this story, mother and father abandon their children and run away, and a witch appears in the house of sweets. It doesn't matter if the witch appears, but the problem is what happens inside it. Hansel is locked up, and Gretel is at work, and blind witch makes Hansel fat and gives him meat to eat, but when she doesn't gain weight, she gives up and asks Gretel to make sure the water is well-boiled. Then Gretel pushes her witch into the water and Hansel and Gretel escape. In this process, there are often situations that are not suitable for children to see. One is the line "You have to get fat and eat it", and the other is the scene where Gretel plunges her witch into hot water. I thought that those lines and the situation were a bit cruel from the point of view of the children. If it had been me, I would have painted a picture of Hansel and Gretel persuading her witch to be a good person and escaping safely and happily.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Maria!

Right on! I think that this is so dark to be a fairy tale and for you to see the point of happily ever after. Well in real life, there are some witches in character who will push you to become a bad person in school or at work. However, your good character must show them that only in goodness and kindness are these values taught to people and not violence or revenge.

Well done! See you in class!

-T. Donna =)

I think Hansel and Gretel shouldn't be known. 
>> Correct!

First of all, in this story, mother and father abandon their children and run away, and a witch appears in the house of sweets. 
>> First of all, in this story, the mother and  the father abandoned their children and ran away and a witch appeared in the house of sweets. 

It doesn't matter if the witch appears, but the problem is what happens inside it. 
>> Correct!

Hansel is locked up, and Gretel is at work, and blind witch makes Hansel fat and gives him meat to eat, but when she doesn't gain weight, she gives up and asks Gretel to make sure the water is well-boiled. 
>> Hansel is locked up, and Gretel is at work, and the blind witch made Hansel fat and gave him meat to eat, but when she didn't gain weight, she gave up and asked Gretel to make sure the water is well-boiled. 

Then Gretel pushes her witch into the water and Hansel and Gretel escape. 
>> Then Gretel pushed the witch into the water and Hansel and Gretel escaped. 

In this process, there are often situations that are not suitable for children to see. 
>> Correct!

One is the line "You have to get fat and eat it", and the other is the scene where Gretel plunges her witch into hot water. 
>> One is the line "You have to get fat and eat it", and the other is the scene where Gretel plunged the witch into the hot water. 

I thought that those lines and the situation were a bit cruel from the point of view of the children. 
>> Correct!

If it had been me, I would have painted a picture of Hansel and Gretel persuading her witch to be a good person and escaping safely and happily.
>> If it had been me, I would have painted a picture of Hansel and Gretel persuading the witch to be a good person and escaping safely and happily.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
109530 Am I a good person? 이*하 완료 2021-06-21 465
109529 Homewokr 박*범 완료 2021-06-21 419
109528 homework 정*호 완료 2021-06-21 0
109527 What are the physical effects of getting angry? 노*이 완료 2021-06-21 2
109526 Fill in the blanks 이*윤 완료 2021-06-21 456
109525 Vice president! 김*랑 완료 2021-06-21 342
109524 Painting 차*빈 완료 2021-06-21 373
109523 What dream of yours do you want to come true? 류*주 완료 2021-06-21 410
109522 Monday homework 류*우 완료 2021-06-21 496
109521 What makes your city more special than the other ones in South... 최*옥 완료 2021-06-21 0
109520 What Korean policy/law do you think should be removed? 최*옥 완료 2021-06-21 0
109519 Diary 0621 김*연 완료 2021-06-21 0
109518 Homework 임*민 완료 2021-06-21 1
109517 Where do you want to travel next? Why? 김*수 완료 2021-06-21 404
109516 are you a good sport? 김*민 완료 2021-06-21 451
109515 ESSAY: Describe in detail your task as a videographer. 박*연 완료 2021-06-21 3
109514 Buying a Seoul Home Would Take 62 Years from Scratch 유*진 완료 2021-06-21 1
109513 My mother 유*진 완료 2021-06-21 389
109512 A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to... 황*하 완료 2021-06-21 447
109511 lesson 권*시 완료 2021-06-21 357

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]