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Hansel and Gretel shouldn\'t be known!

작성자: 김*랑
2021-07-12 398

회원님의 영작문



I think Hansel and Gretel shouldn't be known. First of all, in this story, mother and father abandon their children and run away, and a witch appears in the house of sweets. It doesn't matter if the witch appears, but the problem is what happens inside it. Hansel is locked up, and Gretel is at work, and blind witch makes Hansel fat and gives him meat to eat, but when she doesn't gain weight, she gives up and asks Gretel to make sure the water is well-boiled. Then Gretel pushes her witch into the water and Hansel and Gretel escape. In this process, there are often situations that are not suitable for children to see. One is the line "You have to get fat and eat it", and the other is the scene where Gretel plunges her witch into hot water. I thought that those lines and the situation were a bit cruel from the point of view of the children. If it had been me, I would have painted a picture of Hansel and Gretel persuading her witch to be a good person and escaping safely and happily.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Maria!

Right on! I think that this is so dark to be a fairy tale and for you to see the point of happily ever after. Well in real life, there are some witches in character who will push you to become a bad person in school or at work. However, your good character must show them that only in goodness and kindness are these values taught to people and not violence or revenge.

Well done! See you in class!

-T. Donna =)

I think Hansel and Gretel shouldn't be known. 
>> Correct!

First of all, in this story, mother and father abandon their children and run away, and a witch appears in the house of sweets. 
>> First of all, in this story, the mother and  the father abandoned their children and ran away and a witch appeared in the house of sweets. 

It doesn't matter if the witch appears, but the problem is what happens inside it. 
>> Correct!

Hansel is locked up, and Gretel is at work, and blind witch makes Hansel fat and gives him meat to eat, but when she doesn't gain weight, she gives up and asks Gretel to make sure the water is well-boiled. 
>> Hansel is locked up, and Gretel is at work, and the blind witch made Hansel fat and gave him meat to eat, but when she didn't gain weight, she gave up and asked Gretel to make sure the water is well-boiled. 

Then Gretel pushes her witch into the water and Hansel and Gretel escape. 
>> Then Gretel pushed the witch into the water and Hansel and Gretel escaped. 

In this process, there are often situations that are not suitable for children to see. 
>> Correct!

One is the line "You have to get fat and eat it", and the other is the scene where Gretel plunges her witch into hot water. 
>> One is the line "You have to get fat and eat it", and the other is the scene where Gretel plunged the witch into the hot water. 

I thought that those lines and the situation were a bit cruel from the point of view of the children. 
>> Correct!

If it had been me, I would have painted a picture of Hansel and Gretel persuading her witch to be a good person and escaping safely and happily.
>> If it had been me, I would have painted a picture of Hansel and Gretel persuading the witch to be a good person and escaping safely and happily.
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