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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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서비스 입니다.

I think students don\'t have to do a part-time job.

작성자: 김*랑
2021-07-13 332

회원님의 영작문



I think students don't have to do a part-time job. If they work part-time, they will waste a lot of time, and even if they earn a lot of money, they cannot go to a prestigious university if they do not study. Here, it is stated that Bill a good student at the study, but he spends much less time studying than working part-time. It's good that she learns everything at school and reviews it, but because the amount and time are not directly proportional, so Bill will be not always good at study. Get a scholarship is far better for him to invest more time in her studies than to work part-time. Getting a scholarship means that the school recognizes that this student is worthy of studying well and going to a good enough university, so he will get a good job and, above all, have a stable life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Maria!

I think that you have made your point clear here. If you go to a good university, you definitely have to devote much time studying. Working on the side can make one exhausted. Sometimes, we cannot serve two gods at a time. However, for some who are very smart and efficient, they can work and study at the same time. 

Well, someday, you can choose whether you want just to study or study and work. It's your choice!

Thank you!

-T. Donna =)

I think students don't have to do a part-time job. 
>> Correct!

If they work part-time, they will waste a lot of time, and even if they earn a lot of money, they cannot go to a prestigious university if they do not study. 
>> Correct!

Here, it is stated that Bill a good student at the study, but he spends much less time studying than working part-time. 
>> Here, it is stated that Bill is a good student, but he spends less time studying than working part-time. 

It's good that she learns everything at school and reviews it, but because the amount and time are not directly proportional, so Bill will be not always good at study. 
>> It's good that she learns everything at school and reviews it, but because the amount of time are not directly proportional, so Bill will be not always be good at studying. 

Get a scholarship is far better for him to invest more time in her studies than to work part-time. 
>> Getting a scholarship is far better for him to invest more time in his studies than to work part-time. 

Getting a scholarship means that the school recognizes that this student is worthy of studying well and going to a good enough university, so he will get a good job and, above all, have a stable life.
>> Correct!
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