¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-07-14 645

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I like my birthstone.
My birthday is February 23rd.
So my birthstone is amethyst.
Amethyst is purple and very shiny, so it's very pretty.
I think the reason I like amethyst the most is because it's my birthstone.
But other birthstones seem to be very beautiful.
I think all the jewels seem pretty and beautiful.
And I'd like to have a ring with my birthstone..haha

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



I like my birthstone.
>>> CORRECT

My birthday is February 23rd.
>>> CORRECT
OR: My birthday is on February 23. 

So my birthstone is amethyst.
>>> CORRECT
OR: My birthstone is amethyst.

Amethyst is purple and very shiny, so it's very pretty.
>>> Amethyst is purple and it's very shiny, so it's very pretty.

I think the reason I like amethyst the most is because it's my birthstone.
>>> I think the reason why I like amethyst the most is that it's my birthstone.

But other birthstones seem to be very beautiful.
>>> CORRECT
OR: But other birthstones seem to be very beautiful too.

I think all the jewels seem pretty and beautiful.
>>> I think all of the jewels/gems are pretty and beautiful.

And I'd like to have a ring with my birthstone..haha
>>> I'd like to have a ring with my birthstone on it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114607 What do you like about the city you are living in? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 459
114606 What would you like to change in the education system in South... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 414
114605 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 595
114604 my homework ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114603 Do you like meeting new people? Why is that? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1050
114602 What do you consider in a restaurant when eating out? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114601 What do you think is the worst collection that a person can... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114600 In south korea high school culture ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 383
114599 Especially be careful to language ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 442
114598 Spring:The Season of Life and hope ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 466
114597 breakfast ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 439
114596 Of course. I\'m worry about getting older. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 0
114595 Animals~ ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 398
114594 Where in the world would you most like to go for your next... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 2
114593 Plastic is vital for us ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 324
114592 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 697
114591 How many hours do you sleep? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 705
114590 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 935
114589 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 0
114588 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 447

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04