¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-07-14 515

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I like my birthstone.
My birthday is February 23rd.
So my birthstone is amethyst.
Amethyst is purple and very shiny, so it's very pretty.
I think the reason I like amethyst the most is because it's my birthstone.
But other birthstones seem to be very beautiful.
I think all the jewels seem pretty and beautiful.
And I'd like to have a ring with my birthstone..haha

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



I like my birthstone.
>>> CORRECT

My birthday is February 23rd.
>>> CORRECT
OR: My birthday is on February 23. 

So my birthstone is amethyst.
>>> CORRECT
OR: My birthstone is amethyst.

Amethyst is purple and very shiny, so it's very pretty.
>>> Amethyst is purple and it's very shiny, so it's very pretty.

I think the reason I like amethyst the most is because it's my birthstone.
>>> I think the reason why I like amethyst the most is that it's my birthstone.

But other birthstones seem to be very beautiful.
>>> CORRECT
OR: But other birthstones seem to be very beautiful too.

I think all the jewels seem pretty and beautiful.
>>> I think all of the jewels/gems are pretty and beautiful.

And I'd like to have a ring with my birthstone..haha
>>> I'd like to have a ring with my birthstone on it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112483 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 422
112482 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1
112481 If you can be reincarnated, what kind of life would you want on... ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 442
112480 37 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 375
112479 Countries ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 391
112478 Write about a memorable experience you had with a favorite... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 321
112477 If I reincarnated ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 390
112476 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 437
112475 If you can be reincarnated, what kind of life would you want on... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 521
112474 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1
112473 (Self-introduction) Tell me something about yourself. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 449
112472 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 468
112471 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 455
112470 What kind of person would be the perfect neighbor? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 2
112469 Self introduction2 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1
112468 Riding a bike À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 3
112467 What are your short-term and long-term goals? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 1
112466 Gaecheonjeol (National Foundation day) ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 538
112465 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 397
112464 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04