¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-07-14 602

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I like my birthstone.
My birthday is February 23rd.
So my birthstone is amethyst.
Amethyst is purple and very shiny, so it's very pretty.
I think the reason I like amethyst the most is because it's my birthstone.
But other birthstones seem to be very beautiful.
I think all the jewels seem pretty and beautiful.
And I'd like to have a ring with my birthstone..haha

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



I like my birthstone.
>>> CORRECT

My birthday is February 23rd.
>>> CORRECT
OR: My birthday is on February 23. 

So my birthstone is amethyst.
>>> CORRECT
OR: My birthstone is amethyst.

Amethyst is purple and very shiny, so it's very pretty.
>>> Amethyst is purple and it's very shiny, so it's very pretty.

I think the reason I like amethyst the most is because it's my birthstone.
>>> I think the reason why I like amethyst the most is that it's my birthstone.

But other birthstones seem to be very beautiful.
>>> CORRECT
OR: But other birthstones seem to be very beautiful too.

I think all the jewels seem pretty and beautiful.
>>> I think all of the jewels/gems are pretty and beautiful.

And I'd like to have a ring with my birthstone..haha
>>> I'd like to have a ring with my birthstone on it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109161 More and more people are finding it increasingly important to... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 453
109160 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 509
109159 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 461
109158 Tell me about the food delivery system in Korea. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 0
109157 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 3
109156 HOMEWORK:ESSAY: Choose one experience in a restaurant and... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 3
109155 HOMEWORK : How can you describe your city for foreigners to... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 1
109154 There are several lessons I\'ve learned in life. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 472
109153 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 472
109152 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 447
109151 Home work ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 461
109150 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 466
109149 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 1
109148 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 572
109147 Interview 4 ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 0
109146 Do you mind sharing your problems with your friends? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 493
109145 What do people use as source of light when there\'s a power... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-06 2
109144 I think Zeus is the powerful person in our world. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-06 584
109143 Why did you agree to practice your English regularly? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-06 457
109142 How would you like to spend your weekend if you were given the... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-06 613

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04