¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK/YUN/2021/0714

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*À±
2021-07-15 578

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the idea of people using same global language it self is positive but, also has a negative aspect in the way of loosing diversity of culture.
Reason for positive expectation is that people can communicate with foreigners more easily. When we try to communicate with foreigners, we have to study new languages. It¡¯s very hard to learn another languages and it¡¯s also impossible to speak like natives.Also, to learn foreign languages, you have to put an effort a lot and also cost money a lot to enroll a institute.
In the aspect of negative expectation, the reason why is that using same language around the world can cause the extinct of culture diversity. There are some socialist claiming that language represent the identity of particular culture so it¡¯s important to preserve each languages.
From this point of view, using one global language all over the world can make the culture standardize.
Hence, both opinions are acceptable, but all have positive and negative aspects.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yun! It's great to see you here on the composition site!

First of all, congratulations to the submission of this IELTS essay answer. Your strong points are breaking down the pros and cons of  speaking a common language. Moreover, your arguments have supporting details. For the conclusion, you have to make it solid by wrapping up the points you have made on your discussion.

Let us discuss how you can make a substantial conclusion in class tomorrow. Excellent job for this first written IELTS answer!

See you then!

-T. Donna =)

In my opinion, the idea of people using same global language it self is positive but, also has a negative aspect in the way of loosing diversity of culture.
>> In my opinion, the idea of people using the same global language is positive but also has a negative aspect by loosing diversity of culture.

Reason for positive expectation is that people can communicate with foreigners more easily. 
>> The reason for positive expectation is that people can communicate with foreigners more easily. 

When we try to communicate with foreigners, we have to study new languages. 
>> Correct!

It¡¯s very hard to learn another languages and it¡¯s also impossible to speak like natives.
>> It¡¯s very hard to learn another language and it¡¯s also impossible to speak like natives.

Also, to learn foreign languages, you have to put an effort a lot and also cost money a lot to enroll a institute.
>> Also, to learn foreign languages, you have to put a lot of effort and it also costs a lot of money to enroll in an institute.

In the aspect of negative expectation, the reason why is that using same language around the world can cause the extinct of culture diversity. 
>> In the aspect of negative expectation, using the same language around the world can cause the extinction of cultural diversity. 

There are some socialist claiming that language represent the identity of particular culture so it¡¯s important to preserve each languages.
>> There are some socialists claiming that a language represents the identity of particular culture so it¡¯s important to preserve each language.

From this point of view, using one global language all over the world can make the culture standardize.
>> ...standardized.

Hence, both opinions are acceptable, but all have positive and negative aspects.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113310 Journal ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 361
113309 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113308 My son very sick, we go to hospital, sorry fiona see you 2weeks... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 469
113307 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113306 Is American English better than any other English? Why? Answer... ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 480
113305 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 780
113304 Would you describe your workplace as formal or casual? ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 3
113303 What is the importance of being part of an organization? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113302 Tell me about your last vacation. ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113301 HOMEWORK: What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 0
113300 My angry case ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 379
113299 What country in Asia would be a great place to live? Why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 2
113298 What is the most difficult thing about learning English? Discuss... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 3
113297 English is confidence ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 363
113296 Korean Winter season ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 446
113295 Are you in favor of opening international flights for tourists... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 4
113294 Experiment is always exinting ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 479
113293 Homework from the lesson 10262021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 498
113292 Does playing with dolls like Barbie negatively influence a... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 407
113291 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 969

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04