¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK/YUN/2021/0714

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*À±
2021-07-15 575

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the idea of people using same global language it self is positive but, also has a negative aspect in the way of loosing diversity of culture.
Reason for positive expectation is that people can communicate with foreigners more easily. When we try to communicate with foreigners, we have to study new languages. It¡¯s very hard to learn another languages and it¡¯s also impossible to speak like natives.Also, to learn foreign languages, you have to put an effort a lot and also cost money a lot to enroll a institute.
In the aspect of negative expectation, the reason why is that using same language around the world can cause the extinct of culture diversity. There are some socialist claiming that language represent the identity of particular culture so it¡¯s important to preserve each languages.
From this point of view, using one global language all over the world can make the culture standardize.
Hence, both opinions are acceptable, but all have positive and negative aspects.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yun! It's great to see you here on the composition site!

First of all, congratulations to the submission of this IELTS essay answer. Your strong points are breaking down the pros and cons of  speaking a common language. Moreover, your arguments have supporting details. For the conclusion, you have to make it solid by wrapping up the points you have made on your discussion.

Let us discuss how you can make a substantial conclusion in class tomorrow. Excellent job for this first written IELTS answer!

See you then!

-T. Donna =)

In my opinion, the idea of people using same global language it self is positive but, also has a negative aspect in the way of loosing diversity of culture.
>> In my opinion, the idea of people using the same global language is positive but also has a negative aspect by loosing diversity of culture.

Reason for positive expectation is that people can communicate with foreigners more easily. 
>> The reason for positive expectation is that people can communicate with foreigners more easily. 

When we try to communicate with foreigners, we have to study new languages. 
>> Correct!

It¡¯s very hard to learn another languages and it¡¯s also impossible to speak like natives.
>> It¡¯s very hard to learn another language and it¡¯s also impossible to speak like natives.

Also, to learn foreign languages, you have to put an effort a lot and also cost money a lot to enroll a institute.
>> Also, to learn foreign languages, you have to put a lot of effort and it also costs a lot of money to enroll in an institute.

In the aspect of negative expectation, the reason why is that using same language around the world can cause the extinct of culture diversity. 
>> In the aspect of negative expectation, using the same language around the world can cause the extinction of cultural diversity. 

There are some socialist claiming that language represent the identity of particular culture so it¡¯s important to preserve each languages.
>> There are some socialists claiming that a language represents the identity of particular culture so it¡¯s important to preserve each language.

From this point of view, using one global language all over the world can make the culture standardize.
>> ...standardized.

Hence, both opinions are acceptable, but all have positive and negative aspects.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111727 special gift ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 5
111726 If I will visit your city, what restaurant would you recommend... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 503
111725 Thank you! ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 3
111724 Thank you teacher:) ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 4
111723 Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 536
111722 What do you usually do to celebrate birthdays in your family? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 417
111721 How can you deal with someone who speaks so fast in giving... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 381
111720 meaning of Korean flag ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 384
111719 What do you like about your neighborhood? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 454
111718 Make sentences using given words ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 1
111717 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 286
111716 Writing a book ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 372
111715 what is your favorite subject at school ? why ? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 435
111714 Shine muscat was best sweet fruit i have ate Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 494
111713 homework ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 518
111712 [HOMEWORK] Why do people get upset? Kindly answer in not more... Á¶*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 4
111711 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 353
111710 9.7 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111709 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 423
111708 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 435

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04