¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the reason why the number of COVID-19 cases there in Korea keeps on increasing?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-07-15 287

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the number of COVID-19 cases in Korea keeps on increasing because of goverment's counterplan.
For instance, in Korea, the number of COVID-19 is increasing a lot, then they just make their COVID-19 level up.
Then people can't go outside freely with their friends or other people, so COVID-19's number goes down.
Then the goverment make their COVID-19 level down so people go outside with a lot of people.
So the number of COVID-19 is increasing a lot, so the goverment make the level up again.
So this is repeated a lot of time, and that's why Korea can't make down the number of COVID-19.
So I think it is better to keep COVID-19 level up, so if we do that, there will be no more COVID-19 patient.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

After experiencing a sharp growth in COVID-19 cases early in the pandemic, South Korea rapidly controlled transmission while implementing less stringent national social distancing measures. This has led to substantial interest in their ¡°test, trace, isolate¡± strategy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.


I think the number of COVID-19 cases in Korea keeps on increasing because of goverment's counterplan.
>> I think the number of COVID-19 cases in Korea keeps on increasing because of the government's counterplan.

For instance, in Korea, the number of COVID-19 is increasing a lot, then they just make their COVID-19 level up.
>> For instance, even thought the cases are increasing, all they do is just increase the pandemic's level.

Then people can't go outside freely with their friends or other people, so COVID-19's number goes down.
>> Then people can't go outside freely with their friends or other people to decrease the number of confirmed cases. 

Then the goverment make their COVID-19 level down so people go outside with a lot of people.
>> Then eventually, they will lower down the level again. 

So the number of COVID-19 is increasing a lot, so the goverment make the level up again.
>> And then when it increases again, they will rise the level again. 

So this is repeated a lot of time, and that's why Korea can't make down the number of COVID-19.
>> This is repeated a lot of times that's why the cases don't go down. 

So I think it is better to keep COVID-19 level up, so if we do that, there will be no more COVID-19 patient.
>> So I think it is better to keep COVID-19 level up, so if we do that, there will be no more COVID-19 patients. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111069 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 2
111068 The way to the dangerous airport, the last exit out of Afghan. È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 7
111067 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 238
111066 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 209
111065 How does fashion affect people¡¯s lives ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 333
111064 Why do you think people dream when they sleep? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 5
111063 45 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 223
111062 Homework(*^V^*) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 226
111061 Choose any traditional ceremony diffrent country \'s explain... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 2
111060 [8/17]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 1
111059 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 208
111058 8.19 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 3
111057 My bedtime routines. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 2
111056 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 196
111055 The meaning of silence ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 257
111054 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 1
111053 What is your idea of a perfect vacation? / What exotic foods do... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 346
111052 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 241
111051 How do you think face-to-face communication differs from... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 1
111050 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 228

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04