¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the reason why the number of COVID-19 cases there in Korea keeps on increasing?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-07-15 198

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the number of COVID-19 cases in Korea keeps on increasing because of goverment's counterplan.
For instance, in Korea, the number of COVID-19 is increasing a lot, then they just make their COVID-19 level up.
Then people can't go outside freely with their friends or other people, so COVID-19's number goes down.
Then the goverment make their COVID-19 level down so people go outside with a lot of people.
So the number of COVID-19 is increasing a lot, so the goverment make the level up again.
So this is repeated a lot of time, and that's why Korea can't make down the number of COVID-19.
So I think it is better to keep COVID-19 level up, so if we do that, there will be no more COVID-19 patient.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

After experiencing a sharp growth in COVID-19 cases early in the pandemic, South Korea rapidly controlled transmission while implementing less stringent national social distancing measures. This has led to substantial interest in their ¡°test, trace, isolate¡± strategy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.


I think the number of COVID-19 cases in Korea keeps on increasing because of goverment's counterplan.
>> I think the number of COVID-19 cases in Korea keeps on increasing because of the government's counterplan.

For instance, in Korea, the number of COVID-19 is increasing a lot, then they just make their COVID-19 level up.
>> For instance, even thought the cases are increasing, all they do is just increase the pandemic's level.

Then people can't go outside freely with their friends or other people, so COVID-19's number goes down.
>> Then people can't go outside freely with their friends or other people to decrease the number of confirmed cases. 

Then the goverment make their COVID-19 level down so people go outside with a lot of people.
>> Then eventually, they will lower down the level again. 

So the number of COVID-19 is increasing a lot, so the goverment make the level up again.
>> And then when it increases again, they will rise the level again. 

So this is repeated a lot of time, and that's why Korea can't make down the number of COVID-19.
>> This is repeated a lot of times that's why the cases don't go down. 

So I think it is better to keep COVID-19 level up, so if we do that, there will be no more COVID-19 patient.
>> So I think it is better to keep COVID-19 level up, so if we do that, there will be no more COVID-19 patients. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110308 What is one difference between education in Korea and education... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-27 227
110307 Failure is the mother of success. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-27 241
110306 Which one do you think is better, working in Korea or working in... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 276
110305 If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 238
110304 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 199
110303 What do you think is the color for happiness? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 0
110302 to work in other country ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 215
110301 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 212
110300 holiday ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 285
110299 Weightlifting in Tokyo Olympics ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 192
110298 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 213
110297 living on the beach. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 169
110296 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1
110295 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 177
110294 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1
110293 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 239
110292 I think offline class is more benefit to me*^^* ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 247
110291 Homework {07/26} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 277
110290 If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 374
110289 My goal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04