¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Friday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-07-16 423

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones?
A:Advantages of cell phone is we can call to our friend, or other people faster than before.
Also, we can say somethings with message, and we don't need to talk if we use message.
But if we use cell phones, we don't need to meet to talk and we don't need to write letters.
And if we use cell phones for long time, it hurts our eyes so if someone look at cell phone for long time, then he need to wear glasses.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Advantages of cell phone is we can call to our friend, or other people faster than before.

>> An advantage of cell phones is we can call our friends or other people faster than before.
Also, we can say somethings with message, and we don't need to talk if we use message.

>> We can also say something through texts, we don't need to talk if we send a message.
But if we use cell phones, we don't need to meet to talk and we don't need to write letters.

>> If we use cell phones, we don't need to meet to talk and we don't need to write letters.
And if we use cell phones for long time, it hurts our eyes so if someone look at cell phone for long time, then he need to wear glasses.

>> But if we use cell phones for a long time, it hurts our eyes, so if someone looks at a cell phone for a long time, then he needs to wear glasses.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111061 Choose any traditional ceremony diffrent country \'s explain... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 2
111060 [8/17]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 1
111059 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 321
111058 8.19 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 3
111057 My bedtime routines. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 2
111056 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 298
111055 The meaning of silence ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 348
111054 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 1
111053 What is your idea of a perfect vacation? / What exotic foods do... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 454
111052 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 314
111051 How do you think face-to-face communication differs from... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 1
111050 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 340
111049 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 446
111048 What exotic foods do you want to try and why? ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 375
111047 Female students in our class do better! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 512
111046 Why do you think body language is important? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 375
111045 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 325
111044 Globalization is positive for economies but its negative sides... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 367
111043 If for the first time, you would experience a racial... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 396
111042 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 316

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04