¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Friday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-07-16 350

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones?
A:Advantages of cell phone is we can call to our friend, or other people faster than before.
Also, we can say somethings with message, and we don't need to talk if we use message.
But if we use cell phones, we don't need to meet to talk and we don't need to write letters.
And if we use cell phones for long time, it hurts our eyes so if someone look at cell phone for long time, then he need to wear glasses.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Advantages of cell phone is we can call to our friend, or other people faster than before.

>> An advantage of cell phones is we can call our friends or other people faster than before.
Also, we can say somethings with message, and we don't need to talk if we use message.

>> We can also say something through texts, we don't need to talk if we send a message.
But if we use cell phones, we don't need to meet to talk and we don't need to write letters.

>> If we use cell phones, we don't need to meet to talk and we don't need to write letters.
And if we use cell phones for long time, it hurts our eyes so if someone look at cell phone for long time, then he need to wear glasses.

>> But if we use cell phones for a long time, it hurts our eyes, so if someone looks at a cell phone for a long time, then he needs to wear glasses.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110059 Be ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 8
110058 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 0
110057 HOMEWORK/YUN/2021/0714 Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 439
110056 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 433
110055 home work on July 14 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 1
110054 Which do you like better, a home with a nice garden or a home... À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 347
110053 What are three things that motivate you? À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 869
110052 Do you want more CCTVs to monitor children in school while you... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 2
110051 Page 23 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 491
110050 COVID-19 cases keeps on increasing in Korea. ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 323
110049 Do you follow all of your country¡¯s traditional customs? Why or... ¹Ú*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 324
110048 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 1
110047 what do I do in the perfect weather? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 385
110046 Hello!! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 4
110045 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 0
110044 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 363
110043 It\'s so difficult to solve all of this...^^;; ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 285
110042 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 342
110041 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 352
110040 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-14 318

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04