¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Friday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-07-16 277

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones?
A:Advantages of cell phone is we can call to our friend, or other people faster than before.
Also, we can say somethings with message, and we don't need to talk if we use message.
But if we use cell phones, we don't need to meet to talk and we don't need to write letters.
And if we use cell phones for long time, it hurts our eyes so if someone look at cell phone for long time, then he need to wear glasses.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Advantages of cell phone is we can call to our friend, or other people faster than before.

>> An advantage of cell phones is we can call our friends or other people faster than before.
Also, we can say somethings with message, and we don't need to talk if we use message.

>> We can also say something through texts, we don't need to talk if we send a message.
But if we use cell phones, we don't need to meet to talk and we don't need to write letters.

>> If we use cell phones, we don't need to meet to talk and we don't need to write letters.
And if we use cell phones for long time, it hurts our eyes so if someone look at cell phone for long time, then he need to wear glasses.

>> But if we use cell phones for a long time, it hurts our eyes, so if someone looks at a cell phone for a long time, then he needs to wear glasses.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109190 DIRECTIONS: Make a sentence: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109189 What are the advantages of having deadlines? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 2
109188 Driving Laws and Alcohol À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 352
109187 what are you afraid of? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 291
109186 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109185 What advice will you say to a newly hired worker who is... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 293
109184 What do you think should the government of South Korea focus on? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 299
109183 My goal ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 274
109182 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 298
109181 Homework (299) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 332
109180 Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 316
109179 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 330
109178 What is the fiercest or the most dangerous animal for you? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 2
109177 What are the things that people used to do before but not... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 1
109176 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 1
109175 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 410
109174 one of the goals. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 335
109173 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 245
109172 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 305
109171 Addicts ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04