¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Àº
2021-07-16 351

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Advantages of cell phones are convenient to communicate with other people and improve qualities of life.
By using cell phones, we can do almost everything with it such as making reservation, watching movies, and taking pictures.
However, cell phones make people's health worse than before they didn't use them.
Because of cell phones, people suffer of eyes and necks problems.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Christine!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Advantages of cell phones are convenient to communicate with other people and improve qualities of life.

>> The advantages of cellphones are that it makes it convenient to communicate with other people and it improves the quality of life.
By using cell phones, we can do almost everything with it such as making reservation, watching movies, and taking pictures.

>> By using cell phones, we can do almost everything such as making reservations, watching movies, and taking pictures.
However, cell phones make people's health worse than before they didn't use them.

>> However, cell phones make people's health worse than before they weren't using them.
Because of cell phones, people suffer of eyes and necks problems.

>> Because of cell phones, people suffer from eye and neck problems.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110847 Page 30 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 539
110846 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 2
110845 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 423
110844 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 404
110843 What are you crossing your fingers for? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 389
110842 I\'m living in dongtan ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 354
110841 Which do you appreciate more in music, theory or practice? Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 1
110840 Where is the best place for you to work? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 2
110839 Where do young people in this country usually spend their free... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 342
110838 Do you think piano lessons are important for student\'s... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 365
110837 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 345
110836 Calm ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 1
110835 I hate a melon like a radish. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 326
110834 page 27 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 276
110833 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 302
110832 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 339
110831 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 383
110830 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 2
110829 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 354
110828 I agree with Henry\'s opinion! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 383

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04