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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Wednesday homework

작성자: 박*연
2021-07-19 294

회원님의 영작문

HOMEWORK:
Can you tell me about the most important lesson you've learnt in life so far?

In the 2019 summer vacation, I went to the Philippines to have an English camp to improve my English skills.
There were a lot of elder people and a younger girl.
I don't have any same-aged friends there.
Although elder girls took care of me and that younger girl a lot.
So there weren't lots of problems in the beginning.
All elder girls took care of me a lot but an exactly elder girl named Ann took care of me better than others.
The new girl's name Candis came and join the camp.
I wanted to be nearer to her.
So I played with her a lot.
And next to the girl Ann was very mad at me the next day.
She was kind of hurt because I only played with my new sister Candis.
So I apologized to Ann and she accepted but not truly accepted.
She ignored me after that.
She has a fault but I also have a fault.
What I learned from this situation was to be harmonized with everyone not only a particular person.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Claire!
Thanks for the efforts today! See you tomorrow! ^^
~~Teacher Kate

In the 2019 summer vacation, I went to the Philippines to have an English camp to improve my English skills.
>>In the 2019 summer vacation, I went to the Philippines to attend an English camp to improve my English skills.
There were a lot of elder people and a younger girl.
>>CORRECT!
I don't have any same-aged friends there.
>>I didn't have any same-aged friends there.
Although elder girls took care of me and that younger girl a lot.
>>CORRECT!
So there weren't lots of problems in the beginning.
>>CORRECT!
All elder girls took care of me a lot but an exactly elder girl named Ann took care of me better than others.
>>All the elder girls took care of me a lot but one girl named Ann took care of me better than the others.
The new girl's name Candis came and join the camp.
>>The new girl, Candis, came and join the camp.
I wanted to be nearer to her.
>>I wanted to be closer to her.
So I played with her a lot.
>>CORRECT!
And next to the girl Ann was very mad at me the next day.
>>The next day, Ann was very angry with me. 
She was kind of hurt because I only played with my new sister Candis.
>>CORRECT!
So I apologized to Ann and she accepted but not truly accepted.
>>So I apologized to Ann and she accepted my apology but not sincerely.
She ignored me after that.
>>CORRECT!
She has a fault but I also have a fault.
>>CORRECT!
What I learned from this situation was to be harmonized with everyone not only a particular person.
>>What I learned from this situation was to get along well with everyone, not only a particular person.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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