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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Monday homework

작성자: 박*연
2021-07-20 326

회원님의 영작문



Claire

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Claire!

Thanks for your effort today. ^^

~~Teacher Kate


Nowadays standard as Korea renting or buying depends on the surrounded area of the apartments.

>>Nowadays the standard of renting in Korea or buying depends on the surrounding area of the apartments.

The price of apartments in Korea isn't very stable compared to other countries.

>>CORRECT!

For instance, the apartment that is located in Gangnam in Korea, we'll gain more profit to buy a house.

>>For instance, the apartment that is located in Gangnam in Korea, we'll gain more profit by buying a house.

Gangnam is the wealthiest, main city located in Seoul city, in Korea.

>>Gangnam is the wealthiest, main city located in Seoul city, Korea.

Every head office is located there including every head office of many various academies.

>>CORRECT!

Gangnam also possesses the highest education quality in Korea.

>>CORRECT!

Almost every Korean dream is to live in Gangnam. Therefore the apartment prices are increasing by a day.

>>Almost every Korean's dream is to live in Gangnam. Therefore the apartment prices are increasing day by day.

The cheapest Gangnam apartment starts by five billion won if we hope to buy a household. The official highest price of a Gangnam apartment is 15 billion won.

>>The cheapest Gangnam apartment starts at five billion won if we hope to buy a household. The official highest price of a Gangnam apartment is 15 billion won.

These days, because of the political problems, apartments prices that are located in Seoul city including Gangnam of course, or near Seoul is increasing rapidly.

>>These days, because of the political problems, the prices apartments that are located in Seoul city including Gangnam of course, or near Seoul is increasing rapidly.

And including all this stuff, a new law has been released. We need to live in that house for more than 2years if we want to sell the house.

>>CORRECT!

So if the circumstances are that we need to move a lot, it is better to rent a house to consider this law. Because of this law, we need to be more careful when we trade houses.

>>So if the circumstances are that we need to move a lot, it is better to rent a house to observe this law. Because of this law, we need to be more careful when we trade houses.

However, for the countryside houses, we need to consider and consider the economical situation.

>>However, for the countryside houses, we need to consider the economic situation.

Because for example, let's see. we lived more than 2 years in a house that is located in the countryside and we are trying to move now.

>>CORRECT!

But the price of the house that we lived in has been decreased since the day we have bought that house because the new factories appeared and the surrounding of the house has been changing into a factory city.

>>But the price of the house that we lived in has decreased since the day we bought that house because the new factories appeared and the surrounding of the house has been changing into an industrial city.

Just like this example, we need to consider the start-up stuff.

If subway station or train station will be made then the house price will definitely increase because the need transportation have been made.

>>Just like this example, we need to consider the start-up stuff.

If subway station or train station will be made then the house price will definitely increase because the transportation infrastructures have been made.

People like the house near the station district. But if there is news like the startups of factories then the house's price will naturally decrease.

>>People like the house near the station district. But if there is news like the startup factories then the house's price will naturally decrease.

Next, I will tell you the very very rare situation of house trading economies. Actually, Gangnam city was a very muddy failed construction site in the past.

>>CORRECT!

The water flowed through the path from the western sea to the Gangnam construction site. No one wanted to live in such a place muddy failed construction site.

>>The water flowed through the path from the western sea to the Gangnam construction site. No one wanted to live in such a place, a muddy, failed construction site.

The Korean government tried to fix this situation.

>>CORRECT!

They blocked up the water path from the western sea and put some more soils into the muddy ground to make the muddy ground go flat. Also, they planned some house structures for people to live in.

>>They blocked up the water path from the western sea and put some more soil onto the muddy ground to flatten the ground. Also, they planned some housing infrastructures for people to live in.

People moved to Gangnam after this huge construction.

>>CORRECT!

After time flows, now Gangnam has changed into this enormous, most important city of Korea.

>>As time went by, Gangnam has changed into this enormous, most important city of Korea.

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