무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Monday homework

작성자: 박*연
2021-07-20 249

회원님의 영작문



Claire

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Claire!

Thanks for your effort today. ^^

~~Teacher Kate


Nowadays standard as Korea renting or buying depends on the surrounded area of the apartments.

>>Nowadays the standard of renting in Korea or buying depends on the surrounding area of the apartments.

The price of apartments in Korea isn't very stable compared to other countries.

>>CORRECT!

For instance, the apartment that is located in Gangnam in Korea, we'll gain more profit to buy a house.

>>For instance, the apartment that is located in Gangnam in Korea, we'll gain more profit by buying a house.

Gangnam is the wealthiest, main city located in Seoul city, in Korea.

>>Gangnam is the wealthiest, main city located in Seoul city, Korea.

Every head office is located there including every head office of many various academies.

>>CORRECT!

Gangnam also possesses the highest education quality in Korea.

>>CORRECT!

Almost every Korean dream is to live in Gangnam. Therefore the apartment prices are increasing by a day.

>>Almost every Korean's dream is to live in Gangnam. Therefore the apartment prices are increasing day by day.

The cheapest Gangnam apartment starts by five billion won if we hope to buy a household. The official highest price of a Gangnam apartment is 15 billion won.

>>The cheapest Gangnam apartment starts at five billion won if we hope to buy a household. The official highest price of a Gangnam apartment is 15 billion won.

These days, because of the political problems, apartments prices that are located in Seoul city including Gangnam of course, or near Seoul is increasing rapidly.

>>These days, because of the political problems, the prices apartments that are located in Seoul city including Gangnam of course, or near Seoul is increasing rapidly.

And including all this stuff, a new law has been released. We need to live in that house for more than 2years if we want to sell the house.

>>CORRECT!

So if the circumstances are that we need to move a lot, it is better to rent a house to consider this law. Because of this law, we need to be more careful when we trade houses.

>>So if the circumstances are that we need to move a lot, it is better to rent a house to observe this law. Because of this law, we need to be more careful when we trade houses.

However, for the countryside houses, we need to consider and consider the economical situation.

>>However, for the countryside houses, we need to consider the economic situation.

Because for example, let's see. we lived more than 2 years in a house that is located in the countryside and we are trying to move now.

>>CORRECT!

But the price of the house that we lived in has been decreased since the day we have bought that house because the new factories appeared and the surrounding of the house has been changing into a factory city.

>>But the price of the house that we lived in has decreased since the day we bought that house because the new factories appeared and the surrounding of the house has been changing into an industrial city.

Just like this example, we need to consider the start-up stuff.

If subway station or train station will be made then the house price will definitely increase because the need transportation have been made.

>>Just like this example, we need to consider the start-up stuff.

If subway station or train station will be made then the house price will definitely increase because the transportation infrastructures have been made.

People like the house near the station district. But if there is news like the startups of factories then the house's price will naturally decrease.

>>People like the house near the station district. But if there is news like the startup factories then the house's price will naturally decrease.

Next, I will tell you the very very rare situation of house trading economies. Actually, Gangnam city was a very muddy failed construction site in the past.

>>CORRECT!

The water flowed through the path from the western sea to the Gangnam construction site. No one wanted to live in such a place muddy failed construction site.

>>The water flowed through the path from the western sea to the Gangnam construction site. No one wanted to live in such a place, a muddy, failed construction site.

The Korean government tried to fix this situation.

>>CORRECT!

They blocked up the water path from the western sea and put some more soils into the muddy ground to make the muddy ground go flat. Also, they planned some house structures for people to live in.

>>They blocked up the water path from the western sea and put some more soil onto the muddy ground to flatten the ground. Also, they planned some housing infrastructures for people to live in.

People moved to Gangnam after this huge construction.

>>CORRECT!

After time flows, now Gangnam has changed into this enormous, most important city of Korea.

>>As time went by, Gangnam has changed into this enormous, most important city of Korea.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
109451 Do you think it is important to wear fashionable clothes? Why or... 김*연 완료 2021-06-17 1
109450 What Korean policy/law do you think should be removed? 여*진 완료 2021-06-17 0
109449 Man fined for running unauthorized school teaching US curriculum 유*진 완료 2021-06-17 1
109448 What are the pros and cons of keeping a pet? 노*이 완료 2021-06-17 1
109447 What makes your city more special than the other ones in South... 박*주 완료 2021-06-17 275
109446 How important is music to you? 노*이 완료 2021-06-17 2
109445 Homework 임*민 완료 2021-06-17 2
109444 Homework 함*주 완료 2021-06-17 1
109443 Do you agree that Korean elderly are becoming increasingly... 정*아 완료 2021-06-17 229
109442 Task 이*준 완료 2021-06-17 263
109441 Homework 이*화 완료 2021-06-17 262
109440 How can teen suicide be avoided? 안*윤 완료 2021-06-16 2
109439 What exercises can you do at home? 임*총 완료 2021-06-16 2
109438 Homework . Claire 박*연 완료 2021-06-16 301
109437 Homework 최*민 완료 2021-06-16 245
109436 The best things. 이*하 완료 2021-06-16 266
109435 grammar 손*림 완료 2021-06-16 265
109434 grammar 손*림 완료 2021-06-16 282
109433 homework 정*호 완료 2021-06-16 0
109432 Hello! 김*원 완료 2021-06-16 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]