¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Friday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-07-21 450

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
What are some reasons why privacy is important for you?

No one will want someone to watch what they are doing for 24hours.
If we live a social life then we need time to live our private life that is not exposed to everyone.
I don't want to reveal my days to other people every time.
Every people have at least one thing that they don't want other people to see.
For instance, our bare body, our house clothes, and our lifestyles can be anything.
Even entertainers don't want their privacy to be revealed.
Therefore they restrict the reporters nor why will they act like that?
It is all because to protect their privacy.
Even at home, there is privacy for each family member.
It is obvious who would ever let people see their privacy.
No one can't see us for 24hours cause there is privacy and privacy is important.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!
Good job with the compositions today! ^^
~~Teacher Kate

No one will want someone to watch what they are doing for 24hours.
>>CORRECT!
If we live a social life then we need time to live our private life that is not exposed to everyone.
>>CORRECT!
I don't want to reveal my days to other people every time.
>>I don't want to reveal my daily life to other people every time.
Every people have at least one thing that they don't want other people to see.
>>Every one has at least one thing that they don't want other people to see.
For instance, our bare body, our house clothes, and our lifestyles can be anything.
>>CORRECT!
Even entertainers don't want their privacy to be revealed.
>>Even entertainers don't want their privacy to be disturbed.
Therefore they restrict the reporters nor why will they act like that?
>>Therefore, they restrict the reporters because why would they act like that?
It is all because to protect their privacy.
>>It is all to protect their privacy.
Even at home, there is privacy for each family member.
>>CORRECT!
It is obvious who would ever let people see their privacy.
>>It is obvious. Who would ever let people ruin their privacy?
No one can't see us for 24hours cause there is privacy and privacy is important.
>>No one can see us for 24 hours because we need to have some privacy and privacy is important.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112600 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 501
112599 Writing Correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 671
112598 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112597 Homework [10/06} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 393
112596 Are these correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 500
112595 Are there any problems with jellyfish or sharks at your local... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 0
112594 Why do you think there are some couples in South Korea that... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 403
112593 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112592 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 538
112591 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 367
112590 Why is language important? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112589 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 368
112588 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 465
112587 How are you being honest with yourself? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112586 Korea deliver servies ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 445
112585 Movies ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 360
112584 Movies ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 535
112583 How do you understand this: ¡°When in Rome, do as the Romans... È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 411
112582 my favorite things ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 418
112581 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04