¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*Áø
2021-07-22 196

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In your opinion, what would be the perfect age to retire? Why do you think so?
--> 75years old. The age to retire is usually 65years in Korea. But since the expected life span is getting longer, people need to get more money for their life after retiring and almost every people want to do something productive. Some companies already expanded the age to retire and my uncle who is order than 65 is still working in his company.
And lots of people get a new job or start their own business after retiring. Perhaps there is no exact time to retire theses days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

I'm back Yejin! 
Definitely true! There is no perfect age for this. 
But I would recommend that retire when you have enough and enjoy the rest of your golden years. 
Thank you Yejin^^ 

75years old. 
>>> I think the perfect age would be 75 years old. 
The age to retire is usually 65years in Korea. 
>>> In Korea, retirement age is usually 65 years old.
But since the expected life span is getting longer, people need to get more money for their life after retiring and almost every people want to do something productive. 
>>> CORRECT! 
OR: However, because life expectancy is getting longer, people have to earn more money after retirement and almost everyone wants to do productive work.
Some companies already expanded the age to retire and my uncle who is order than 65 is still working in his company.
>>> Some companies already expanded the age to retire and my uncle who is older than 65 is still working in his company.
OR: Some companies have already increased their age to retirement age, and my uncle over 65 still works at the company.
And lots of people get a new job or start their own business after retiring. 
>>> CORRECT!
Perhaps there is no exact time to retire theses days.
>>> Perhaps there is no exact time to retire these days.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110810 Do you think piano lessons are important for student\'s... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 2
110809 Introduce your school. - Interview script of international... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 301
110808 Interview script of international exchange student program ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 231
110807 Hi Kate😍 ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 0
110806 I often visit tteokbokki restaurant Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 267
110805 What is healthy food? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 0
110804 Do you appreciate cultural photos and why? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 1
110803 Page 21 and 25 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 247
110802 What is the most beautiful song you have heard? How did that... À±*½Å ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 243
110801 Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 6
110800 If i was a Ninja À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 2
110799 What is an important thing to remember when you are a tourist in... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 217
110798 What advice would you give a foreigner visiting your country who... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 216
110797 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 197
110796 A skeptical person ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 1
110795 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 630
110794 Homework Àü*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 200
110793 Do you think piano lessons are important for student\'s... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 0
110792 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 218
110791 email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 236

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04