¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*Áø
2021-07-22 173

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In your opinion, what would be the perfect age to retire? Why do you think so?
--> 75years old. The age to retire is usually 65years in Korea. But since the expected life span is getting longer, people need to get more money for their life after retiring and almost every people want to do something productive. Some companies already expanded the age to retire and my uncle who is order than 65 is still working in his company.
And lots of people get a new job or start their own business after retiring. Perhaps there is no exact time to retire theses days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

I'm back Yejin! 
Definitely true! There is no perfect age for this. 
But I would recommend that retire when you have enough and enjoy the rest of your golden years. 
Thank you Yejin^^ 

75years old. 
>>> I think the perfect age would be 75 years old. 
The age to retire is usually 65years in Korea. 
>>> In Korea, retirement age is usually 65 years old.
But since the expected life span is getting longer, people need to get more money for their life after retiring and almost every people want to do something productive. 
>>> CORRECT! 
OR: However, because life expectancy is getting longer, people have to earn more money after retirement and almost everyone wants to do productive work.
Some companies already expanded the age to retire and my uncle who is order than 65 is still working in his company.
>>> Some companies already expanded the age to retire and my uncle who is older than 65 is still working in his company.
OR: Some companies have already increased their age to retirement age, and my uncle over 65 still works at the company.
And lots of people get a new job or start their own business after retiring. 
>>> CORRECT!
Perhaps there is no exact time to retire theses days.
>>> Perhaps there is no exact time to retire these days.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110480 Give up ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 1
110479 What do you think is the most important subject? Explain your... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 0
110478 What is success for you? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 5
110477 How do you cook a Pho? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 3
110476 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 173
110475 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 0
110474 I want to learn to cook! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 214
110473 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 246
110472 What would you bring to a pot-luck lunch? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 2
110471 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 216
110470 Neighborhood Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 178
110469 most important subject ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 236
110468 Korean culture ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 180
110467 How do you think can the culture in Korea be preserved for many... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 174
110466 What is success for you? È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 7
110465 ^^ ÃÖ*Çâ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 0
110464 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 181
110463 Who is a successful person that you admire and why? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 199
110462 How do you avoid arguments? À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 177
110461 What is your busiest day of the week? Why? À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 190

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04