¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*Áø
2021-07-22 323

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In your opinion, what would be the perfect age to retire? Why do you think so?
--> 75years old. The age to retire is usually 65years in Korea. But since the expected life span is getting longer, people need to get more money for their life after retiring and almost every people want to do something productive. Some companies already expanded the age to retire and my uncle who is order than 65 is still working in his company.
And lots of people get a new job or start their own business after retiring. Perhaps there is no exact time to retire theses days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

I'm back Yejin! 
Definitely true! There is no perfect age for this. 
But I would recommend that retire when you have enough and enjoy the rest of your golden years. 
Thank you Yejin^^ 

75years old. 
>>> I think the perfect age would be 75 years old. 
The age to retire is usually 65years in Korea. 
>>> In Korea, retirement age is usually 65 years old.
But since the expected life span is getting longer, people need to get more money for their life after retiring and almost every people want to do something productive. 
>>> CORRECT! 
OR: However, because life expectancy is getting longer, people have to earn more money after retirement and almost everyone wants to do productive work.
Some companies already expanded the age to retire and my uncle who is order than 65 is still working in his company.
>>> Some companies already expanded the age to retire and my uncle who is older than 65 is still working in his company.
OR: Some companies have already increased their age to retirement age, and my uncle over 65 still works at the company.
And lots of people get a new job or start their own business after retiring. 
>>> CORRECT!
Perhaps there is no exact time to retire theses days.
>>> Perhaps there is no exact time to retire these days.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108972 Homework {05/31} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 632
108971 How would you describe your English communication skills? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 552
108970 Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 458
108969 Write some sentences about your vaccination program now ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 516
108968 The things that we should be careful when using the internet Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 2
108967 ehehehehe ½Å*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 1
108966 South Korea vows to lend hand with global vaccine supply... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 2
108965 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 1
108964 What three objects you own do you value the most? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 0
108963 tell me about your favorite game ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 547
108962 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 488
108961 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 607
108960 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 583
108959 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 382
108958 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 1
108957 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-31 466
108956 How would you describe your English communication skills? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-30 1
108955 What do you think about taking new challenges? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-30 762
108954 COMPOSITION º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-30 1
108953 Making sentences with given words ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04