¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that endangered species should be kept in captive breeding programs or released into th

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-07-23 213

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think endangered species need human help. But I think we should train these animals¡¯ instincts and release them into nature. because if animal make together with human, ecah animals¡¯ instincts lose. so I think it is endangered species in other mean.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! ^^

Plants and animals maintain the health of an ecosystem. And, when species become endangered, it¡¯s a sign that an ecosystem is out of balance. This is why we should keep our environment healthy for no species to be extinct. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think endangered species need human help. 
>> CORRECT

But I think we should train these animals¡¯ instincts and release them into nature. 
>> Although I think that we should train their animal instincts and release them into nature. 

because if animal make together with human, ecah animals¡¯ instincts lose. 
>> Because it animals stay together with humans, they might loose their animal instincts. 

so I think it is endangered species in other mean.
>> I think endangered species should be released in the wild. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110134 Has technology made our lives easier or more complicated? ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 202
110133 homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 210
110132 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 4
110131 People these days watch TV, films and other programs alone... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 193
110130 Hi~ James~ ^^ ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 2
110129 What do you need to get used to doing now? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 210
110128 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 0
110127 Has technology made our lives easier or more complicated?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 0
110126 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 237
110125 When I can\'t asleep. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 3
110124 Can you talk about three of your favorite things to eat? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 260
110123 Korea Struggles to Contain Coronavirus Surge À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 0
110122 What is the worst problem you have ever faced in your life and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 0
110121 Can you talk about three of your favorite things to eat? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 1
110120 Fire and firefighter ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 256
110119 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 1
110118 Homework 7.16 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 773
110117 home work on July 15 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 1
110116 How do you keep yourself away from the dangers of disaster? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 1
110115 Homework (309) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 218

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04