¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that endangered species should be kept in captive breeding programs or released into th

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-07-23 405

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think endangered species need human help. But I think we should train these animals¡¯ instincts and release them into nature. because if animal make together with human, ecah animals¡¯ instincts lose. so I think it is endangered species in other mean.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! ^^

Plants and animals maintain the health of an ecosystem. And, when species become endangered, it¡¯s a sign that an ecosystem is out of balance. This is why we should keep our environment healthy for no species to be extinct. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think endangered species need human help. 
>> CORRECT

But I think we should train these animals¡¯ instincts and release them into nature. 
>> Although I think that we should train their animal instincts and release them into nature. 

because if animal make together with human, ecah animals¡¯ instincts lose. 
>> Because it animals stay together with humans, they might loose their animal instincts. 

so I think it is endangered species in other mean.
>> I think endangered species should be released in the wild. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109742 What do you usually do when riding a train, a subway, or a bus? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 396
109741 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 424
109740 In return ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 2
109739 My plan for July ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 432
109738 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 474
109737 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 354
109736 Homework {06/30} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 388
109735 Do you think playing video games are bad for kids? Why or why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 454
109734 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 0
109733 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 396
109732 Mars is my favorite planet in Solar system ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 480
109731 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 373
109730 The emotion of hate À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 416
109729 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 472
109728 Do you think there is another language that could replace... ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 369
109727 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 2
109726 What country would be fun to work in? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 1
109725 Korean Fashion Gains from Pop-Culture Boom À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 0
109724 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 345
109723 Do you think tourism will harm the earth? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 413

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04