¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that endangered species should be kept in captive breeding programs or released into th

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-07-23 437

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think endangered species need human help. But I think we should train these animals¡¯ instincts and release them into nature. because if animal make together with human, ecah animals¡¯ instincts lose. so I think it is endangered species in other mean.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! ^^

Plants and animals maintain the health of an ecosystem. And, when species become endangered, it¡¯s a sign that an ecosystem is out of balance. This is why we should keep our environment healthy for no species to be extinct. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think endangered species need human help. 
>> CORRECT

But I think we should train these animals¡¯ instincts and release them into nature. 
>> Although I think that we should train their animal instincts and release them into nature. 

because if animal make together with human, ecah animals¡¯ instincts lose. 
>> Because it animals stay together with humans, they might loose their animal instincts. 

so I think it is endangered species in other mean.
>> I think endangered species should be released in the wild. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109310 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 0
109309 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 556
109308 Homework🌈 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 482
109307 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 488
109306 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 685
109305 Write your effective tips to meet deadlines. ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 1
109304 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 1
109303 One of the hardest decisions is to bid farewell to your company?... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 672
109302 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 1
109301 HM ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 0
109300 What can you do best? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 389
109299 What would you say is the best thing about getting older? Why? ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 585
109298 Why do people travel? °­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 1
109297 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 527
109296 How do you show your respect for other people? ¿À*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 620
109295 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 533
109294 Does China have good policies for its people? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 2
109293 Homework (302) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 443
109292 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 432
109291 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 497

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04