¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that endangered species should be kept in captive breeding programs or released into th

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-07-23 497

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think endangered species need human help. But I think we should train these animals¡¯ instincts and release them into nature. because if animal make together with human, ecah animals¡¯ instincts lose. so I think it is endangered species in other mean.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! ^^

Plants and animals maintain the health of an ecosystem. And, when species become endangered, it¡¯s a sign that an ecosystem is out of balance. This is why we should keep our environment healthy for no species to be extinct. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think endangered species need human help. 
>> CORRECT

But I think we should train these animals¡¯ instincts and release them into nature. 
>> Although I think that we should train their animal instincts and release them into nature. 

because if animal make together with human, ecah animals¡¯ instincts lose. 
>> Because it animals stay together with humans, they might loose their animal instincts. 

so I think it is endangered species in other mean.
>> I think endangered species should be released in the wild. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108322 homework ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 2
108321 What is a check? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 653
108320 What will I do in this summer? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 857
108319 interview Q ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 0
108318 What do you consider when buying appliances? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 685
108317 Home work(5.7) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 846
108316 Homework 6 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-05-09 0
108315 Homework 5 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-05-09 0
108314 Homework 4 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-05-09 0
108313 Homework 3 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-05-09 0
108312 [05/06]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-05-09 3
108311 Any foods. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-09 1
108310 Will the quality of transportation in your country get better or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-09 716
108309 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-09 3
108308 Unexpected events happen in a certain workplace. How do you... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-09 2
108307 How did your parents raise you? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-09 890
108306 Do you spend your money wisely? ¿À*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-08 682
108305 Is it necessary to go to a private school in you country? Why or... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-08 804
108304 What are the names of some famous gardens in your country? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-08 2
108303 Yes! I love my apartment!! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-08 984

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04