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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Tuesday Homework

작성자: 박*연
2021-07-23 454

회원님의 영작문

HOMEWORK:
If you can't achieve your goal, how do you feel?
First of all, I will be disappointed in myself because when I set up my goal, I promised to achieve the goal.
Therefore if I couldn't achieve my goal, it is like breaking the promise that I have set up for myself.
Although nothing can be perfect there will be many obstacles or many difficulties when we try to achieve something.
The only way is to overcome those obstacles and difficulties and stand up before we can't stand up anymore.
To clear up the scene as fast as possible to prevent the scene from becomes the worst disaster that will take us into bigger suffering.
However, I will feel very depressed if I don't achieve my goal but I can clear up again very quickly and I'm trying to achieve my goals.
If we do our best possibility of achievement of the goal will increaase so if we did our best, then we don't need to worry about achieving goals.
The process of achieving goals is more important than the result.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Claire!
Great job with your compositions! Enjoy the weekend! ^^
~~Teacher Kate

First of all, I will be disappointed in myself because when I set up my goal, I promised to achieve the goal.
>>First of all, I would be disappointed in myself because when I set my goal, I promise to achieve the goal.
Therefore if I couldn't achieve my goal, it is like breaking the promise that I have set up for myself.
>>Therefore, if I couldn't achieve my goal, it is like breaking the promise that I have made for myself.
Although nothing can be perfect there will be many obstacles or many difficulties when we try to achieve something.
>>CORRECT!
The only way is to overcome those obstacles and difficulties and stand up before we can't stand up anymore.
>>The only way is to overcome those obstacles and difficulties and stand up until we can't stand up anymore.
To clear up the scene as fast as possible to prevent the scene from becomes the worst disaster that will take us into bigger suffering.
>>To clear up the scene as fast as possible to prevent it from becoming the worst disaster, will bring us bigger suffering.
However, I will feel very depressed if I don't achieve my goal but I can clear up again very quickly and I'm trying to achieve my goals.
>>However, I will feel very depressed if I don't achieve my goal but I can recover again very quickly and try to achieve them again. 
If we do our best possibility of achievement of the goal will increaase so if we did our best, then we don't need to worry about achieving goals.
>>If we do our best, the possibility of achieving the goal will increase. So, if we did our best, then we don't need to worry about achieving goals.
The process of achieving goals is more important than the result.
>>CORRECT!
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