¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should it be celebrated and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-07-26 511

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to set my birthday as my own holiday. because it¡¯s the day I was norn, I want to spend a day only for myself out of 365days. On my own holiday, I want to spend a day swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool whlie reciving service for three meals.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to set my birthday as my own holiday. because it¡¯s the day I was norn, I want to spend a day only for myself out of 365days.
>> I want to set my birthday as a holiday because it is the day that I was born and I want to spend that day for myself.

On my own holiday, I want to spend a day swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool whlie reciving service for three meals.
>>  On my own holiday, I want to spend that day by swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool while receiving service for three meals.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112438 What\'s your thought on dog-meat eating? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 0
112437 : Will robots take over the world one day ? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 523
112436 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 444
112435 Countries ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 730
112434 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 0
112433 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 0
112432 How different is North Korea from South Korea nowadays? ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 477
112431 Crimes 2 ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 538
112430 Magical Adventure Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 685
112429 why the cellphone is important ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 488
112428 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 516
112427 How different is North Korea from South Korea nowadays? Explain... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 517
112426 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 4
112425 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 4
112424 my dislike subject ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 417
112423 At what age do people usually begin to work in your country? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 1
112422 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 471
112421 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 2
112420 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 586
112419 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 975

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04