¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should it be celebrated and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-07-26 491

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to set my birthday as my own holiday. because it¡¯s the day I was norn, I want to spend a day only for myself out of 365days. On my own holiday, I want to spend a day swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool whlie reciving service for three meals.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to set my birthday as my own holiday. because it¡¯s the day I was norn, I want to spend a day only for myself out of 365days.
>> I want to set my birthday as a holiday because it is the day that I was born and I want to spend that day for myself.

On my own holiday, I want to spend a day swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool whlie reciving service for three meals.
>>  On my own holiday, I want to spend that day by swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool while receiving service for three meals.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112181 Why is it important to pay attention when someone is talking to... ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 564
112180 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 595
112179 Friend ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 591
112178 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 1
112177 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 427
112176 you could take a vacation a vacation anywhere in the world for... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 4
112175 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 6
112174 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 1
112173 Seoul\'s Real Estate Tax Revenues Double over Last Five Years À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 1
112172 37th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 2
112171 Young-Kwang\'s Success Diary ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 2
112170 Why is a warranty important? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 478
112169 What are you most productive? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 3
112168 What things do you want to add or remove in your house? Explain... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 825
112167 writing part1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 1097
112166 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 0
112165 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 1
112164 Fight or flight! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 632
112163 What do you think about multiracial marriage? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 1
112162 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 493

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04