¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should it be celebrated and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-07-26 177

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to set my birthday as my own holiday. because it¡¯s the day I was norn, I want to spend a day only for myself out of 365days. On my own holiday, I want to spend a day swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool whlie reciving service for three meals.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to set my birthday as my own holiday. because it¡¯s the day I was norn, I want to spend a day only for myself out of 365days.
>> I want to set my birthday as a holiday because it is the day that I was born and I want to spend that day for myself.

On my own holiday, I want to spend a day swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool whlie reciving service for three meals.
>>  On my own holiday, I want to spend that day by swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool while receiving service for three meals.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109727 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 2
109726 What country would be fun to work in? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 1
109725 Korean Fashion Gains from Pop-Culture Boom À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 0
109724 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 175
109723 Do you think tourism will harm the earth? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 223
109722 HW ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 0
109721 How do you loosen up? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 246
109720 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 193
109719 Is it necessary to have a bucket list or to do list? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 214
109718 Which day of the year are you most likely to spend with your... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 188
109717 What is your dream job and why? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 4
109716 Homework (306) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 211
109715 Why do people sometimes feel afraid to express their real... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 2
109714 Ask ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 266
109713 English Riddle!! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 203
109712 hate feeling ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 224
109711 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 193
109710 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 319
109709 How do you improve your interpersonal skill? Explain. ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 1
109708 Which one do you think is better, buying things in the mall or... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04