¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should it be celebrated and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-07-26 345

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to set my birthday as my own holiday. because it¡¯s the day I was norn, I want to spend a day only for myself out of 365days. On my own holiday, I want to spend a day swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool whlie reciving service for three meals.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to set my birthday as my own holiday. because it¡¯s the day I was norn, I want to spend a day only for myself out of 365days.
>> I want to set my birthday as a holiday because it is the day that I was born and I want to spend that day for myself.

On my own holiday, I want to spend a day swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool whlie reciving service for three meals.
>>  On my own holiday, I want to spend that day by swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool while receiving service for three meals.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110507 21/08/03 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 243
110506 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 276
110505 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 380
110504 I think dogs are more loyal. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 312
110503 Homework 8.3 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 993
110502 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 377
110501 Who has inspired you the most? How did he or she inspire you? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 1
110500 Do you think it\'s necessary to move out of your parents house... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 349
110499 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 390
110498 How do you practice your English Proficiency? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 2
110497 4th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 2
110496 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 1
110495 Pandemic Casts pall over May Weddings À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 1
110494 Things You Do with Your Friends ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 257
110493 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 2
110492 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 0
110491 First person is alwalys my boy friend. Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 224
110490 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 1
110489 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 1
110488 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04