¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should it be celebrated and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-07-26 331

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to set my birthday as my own holiday. because it¡¯s the day I was norn, I want to spend a day only for myself out of 365days. On my own holiday, I want to spend a day swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool whlie reciving service for three meals.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to set my birthday as my own holiday. because it¡¯s the day I was norn, I want to spend a day only for myself out of 365days.
>> I want to set my birthday as a holiday because it is the day that I was born and I want to spend that day for myself.

On my own holiday, I want to spend a day swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool whlie reciving service for three meals.
>>  On my own holiday, I want to spend that day by swimming leisurely in a good hotel with a swimming pool while receiving service for three meals.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110396 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 388
110395 What is are differences between education in Korea and education... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 359
110394 My bucket lists ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 3
110393 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 389
110392 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 444
110391 In your own opinion, what\'s the most beautiful country? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 1
110390 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 431
110389 Weight ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 371
110388 Page 52 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 425
110387 home work on July 29 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 1
110386 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 207
110385 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 390
110384 South Korean instant noodle exports hit record high À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 1
110383 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 3
110382 1st Homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 1
110381 home work on July 28 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 1
110380 Some people encourage young children to leave their parents... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 336
110379 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 2
110378 Difference between Korean education and overseas education ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 379
110377 dish ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 387

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04