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Why do you think people celebrate Thanksgiving Day?

작성자: 우*서
2021-07-26 353

회원님의 영작문

People celebrate Thanksgiving Day for meeting whole family regularly. One of the reasons for celebrating Thanksgiving day is keep our tradition and holidays. But these days, people think it as a ‘Family gathering day’ because we actually don’t meet each other. People are too busy to visit each other even for family. Holidays such as Thanksgiving day or Lunar New year’s day can help family to spend time together.
In addition, especially in South Korea, people are celebrating the day for taking rest. Korean people are well-known for diligence. Although it’s getting better, but most of companies don’t let employees have enough holidays. Because of that culture, workers think greatful that they can get longer holidays. Some people go on a trip instead of seeing their whole family. I think that sometimes it’s reasonable. Because everyone go to their hometown so it occurs a horrific traffic jam.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Seo,
I do encourage you to express yourself more, I know that at first it will complicated for you to express your opinion but this activity will help you develop your skills in writing. thank you for your homework and I do hope that you are learning well.
T.Jeny

People celebrate Thanksgiving Day for meeting whole family regularly. 
>>People celebrate Thanksgiving Day by meeting the whole family regularly. 
One of the reasons for celebrating Thanksgiving day is keep our tradition and holidays. 
>>One of the reasons for celebrating Thanksgiving day is to keep our tradition and holidays. 
But these days, people think it as a ‘Family gathering day’ because we actually don’t meet each other. 
>>But these days, people think of it as a ‘Family gathering day’ because we actually don’t meet each other. 
People are too busy to visit each other even for family.
>>correct
 Holidays such as Thanksgiving day or Lunar New year’s day can help family to spend time together.
>> Holidays such as Thanksgiving day or Lunar New year’s day can help the family to spend time 
In addition, especially in South Korea, people are celebrating the day for taking rest. 
>>correct
Korean people are well-known for diligence.
>>correct
 Although it’s getting better, but most of companies don’t let employees have enough holidays. 
> Although it’s getting better, most of the companies don’t let employees have enough holidays.
Because of that culture, workers think greatful that they can get longer holidays. 
>>Because of that culture, workers think grateful that they can get longer holidays.
Some people go on a trip instead of seeing their whole family. 
>>correct
I think that sometimes it’s reasonable. 
>>correct
Because everyone go to their hometown so it occurs a horrific traffic jam.
>>Because everyone goes to their hometown, so it occurs a horrific traffic jam.
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