¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should it be celebrated and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-07-26 356

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can make my own holiday, I want to watch a lot of movies and I will celebrate it at one day on a vacation.
I love to watch a lot of movie but I watched almost interesting movies that are allowed to my age.
So I want to watch more movies that I didn't watched and I want to find interesting genre to me.
Actually I have a few movies that I want to watch but almost them are not allowed to my age or unopened.
And the reason that I want to celebrate this holiday at one day of a vacation is there is a lot of time when it is vacation.
And because of vacation, my friends can play a lot of time so I want to celebrate this holiday on a vacation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can make my own holiday, I want to watch a lot of movies and I will celebrate it at one day on a vacation.
>> If I can make my own holiday, I want to watch a lot of movies and I will celebrate it on a one day vacation. 

I love to watch a lot of movie but I watched almost interesting movies that are allowed to my age.
>> I love to watch a lot of movies but I watch most interesting movies that are allowed for my age. 

So I want to watch more movies that I didn't watched and I want to find interesting genre to me.
>>So I want to watch more movies that I haven't watched and I want to find interesting genres for me. 

Actually I have a few movies that I want to watch but almost them are not allowed to my age or unopened.
>> Actually, I have a few movies that I want to watch but most of them are not allowed for my age. 

And the reason that I want to celebrate this holiday at one day of a vacation is there is a lot of time when it is vacation.
>> The reason why I want to go on a one day vacation is that there is a lot of time when we are resting. 

And because of vacation, my friends can play a lot of time so I want to celebrate this holiday on a vacation.
>> And because of that, I can play with my friends. This is why I want to celebrate this holiday on a vacation. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110355 Length ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 219
110354 What is one most memorable celebration in your life? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 176
110353 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 4
110352 Do you think global warming is caused by our pollution? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 3
110351 What are the pros and cons of both husband and wife working? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 179
110350 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 225
110349 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 1
110348 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2021-07-28 179
110347 Why Older People Find It Harder to Taste Food À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 1
110346 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 199
110345 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 2
110344 Is making eye contact important in your culture? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 1
110343 How much do usually spend for you gadgets? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 204
110342 What has changed in your life since last year? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-27 202
110341 What traditional medical practice does your country have? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-27 1
110340 Is making eye contact important in your culture? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-27 255
110339 Writing: What do you think is the safest way to send some... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-27 196
110338 Homepoop ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-27 167
110337 cultures of marriages ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-27 237
110336 Travle ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-27 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04