¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should it be celebrated and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-07-26 369

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can make my own holiday, I want to watch a lot of movies and I will celebrate it at one day on a vacation.
I love to watch a lot of movie but I watched almost interesting movies that are allowed to my age.
So I want to watch more movies that I didn't watched and I want to find interesting genre to me.
Actually I have a few movies that I want to watch but almost them are not allowed to my age or unopened.
And the reason that I want to celebrate this holiday at one day of a vacation is there is a lot of time when it is vacation.
And because of vacation, my friends can play a lot of time so I want to celebrate this holiday on a vacation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can make my own holiday, I want to watch a lot of movies and I will celebrate it at one day on a vacation.
>> If I can make my own holiday, I want to watch a lot of movies and I will celebrate it on a one day vacation. 

I love to watch a lot of movie but I watched almost interesting movies that are allowed to my age.
>> I love to watch a lot of movies but I watch most interesting movies that are allowed for my age. 

So I want to watch more movies that I didn't watched and I want to find interesting genre to me.
>>So I want to watch more movies that I haven't watched and I want to find interesting genres for me. 

Actually I have a few movies that I want to watch but almost them are not allowed to my age or unopened.
>> Actually, I have a few movies that I want to watch but most of them are not allowed for my age. 

And the reason that I want to celebrate this holiday at one day of a vacation is there is a lot of time when it is vacation.
>> The reason why I want to go on a one day vacation is that there is a lot of time when we are resting. 

And because of vacation, my friends can play a lot of time so I want to celebrate this holiday on a vacation.
>> And because of that, I can play with my friends. This is why I want to celebrate this holiday on a vacation. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110086 Page 27 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 205
110085 Why do you think is it harder for old people to accept change? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 209
110084 I have a dream. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 246
110083 Homepoop ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 258
110082 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 216
110081 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 176
110080 What do you do if someone grabs your purse or backpack? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 169
110079 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 226
110078 What do you think is the reason why the number of COVID-19 cases... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 192
110077 Why do you think is it harder for old people to accept change? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 1
110076 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 174
110075 If you are going to make a song, what would it be about and who... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 0
110074 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 4
110073 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 216
110072 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 230
110071 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 200
110070 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 254
110069 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 251
110068 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 213
110067 Homework 7.15 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 212

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04