¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should it be celebrated and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-07-26 538

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can make my own holiday, I want to watch a lot of movies and I will celebrate it at one day on a vacation.
I love to watch a lot of movie but I watched almost interesting movies that are allowed to my age.
So I want to watch more movies that I didn't watched and I want to find interesting genre to me.
Actually I have a few movies that I want to watch but almost them are not allowed to my age or unopened.
And the reason that I want to celebrate this holiday at one day of a vacation is there is a lot of time when it is vacation.
And because of vacation, my friends can play a lot of time so I want to celebrate this holiday on a vacation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can make my own holiday, I want to watch a lot of movies and I will celebrate it at one day on a vacation.
>> If I can make my own holiday, I want to watch a lot of movies and I will celebrate it on a one day vacation. 

I love to watch a lot of movie but I watched almost interesting movies that are allowed to my age.
>> I love to watch a lot of movies but I watch most interesting movies that are allowed for my age. 

So I want to watch more movies that I didn't watched and I want to find interesting genre to me.
>>So I want to watch more movies that I haven't watched and I want to find interesting genres for me. 

Actually I have a few movies that I want to watch but almost them are not allowed to my age or unopened.
>> Actually, I have a few movies that I want to watch but most of them are not allowed for my age. 

And the reason that I want to celebrate this holiday at one day of a vacation is there is a lot of time when it is vacation.
>> The reason why I want to go on a one day vacation is that there is a lot of time when we are resting. 

And because of vacation, my friends can play a lot of time so I want to celebrate this holiday on a vacation.
>> And because of that, I can play with my friends. This is why I want to celebrate this holiday on a vacation. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109750 DIRECTIONS: Make a sentence with the words below: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 1
109749 If you could change one thing about your current house to make... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 2
109748 How could art be appreciated and enjoyed by more people? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 492
109747 How are businesses today different from businesses in the past? ä*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 399
109746 Relaxing vacations ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 1
109745 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 410
109744 How do you view other culture\'s practice of multiple marriage... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 2
109743 Homework (307) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 456
109742 What do you usually do when riding a train, a subway, or a bus? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 396
109741 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 458
109740 In return ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 2
109739 My plan for July ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 462
109738 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 474
109737 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 373
109736 Homework {06/30} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 409
109735 Do you think playing video games are bad for kids? Why or why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 487
109734 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 0
109733 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 423
109732 Mars is my favorite planet in Solar system ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 520
109731 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 415

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04