¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

holiday

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿µ
2021-07-26 313

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can make a holiday, I want to make a holiday on my birthday. My birthday is March 21st, when the new semester starts at school. So I will play with new friends that morning and spend time with my family in the evening. I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the new semester. So I want to make that day a holiday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yeong! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can make a holiday, I want to make a holiday on my birthday.
>>If I can make a holiday, I want to make my birthday a holiday. 

My birthday is March 21st, when the new semester starts at school. 
>>My birthday is on March 21st, the day when new semesters starts in schools. 

So I will play with new friends that morning and spend time with my family in the evening. 
>> CORRECT

I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the new semester.
>> I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the start of a new semester.

 So I want to make that day a holiday.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111034 Sightseeing flights take passengers over Dokdo on Liberaton Day À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 1
111033 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 2
111032 Winter ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 206
111031 The Secret To Turn Ammonia Into Water Without Releasing Carbon... È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 5
111030 How do you get in touch with your goof friends nowadays? Share... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 201
111029 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 264
111028 If you can change something about yourself, what would it be and... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 186
111027 What exotic foods do you want to try and why? ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 1
111026 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 6
111025 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 2
111024 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 2
111023 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-19 0
111022 What exotic foods do you want to try and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 0
111021 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 1
111020 8.18 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 3
111019 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 2
111018 How would you improve it to defend against ninjas? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 5
111017 ielts task 1 bar graph ÀÌ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 238
111016 What exotic foods do you want to try and why? ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 219
111015 Do you think you need to borrow a big amount of money from the... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 201

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04