¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

holiday

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿µ
2021-07-26 295

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can make a holiday, I want to make a holiday on my birthday. My birthday is March 21st, when the new semester starts at school. So I will play with new friends that morning and spend time with my family in the evening. I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the new semester. So I want to make that day a holiday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yeong! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can make a holiday, I want to make a holiday on my birthday.
>>If I can make a holiday, I want to make my birthday a holiday. 

My birthday is March 21st, when the new semester starts at school. 
>>My birthday is on March 21st, the day when new semesters starts in schools. 

So I will play with new friends that morning and spend time with my family in the evening. 
>> CORRECT

I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the new semester.
>> I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the start of a new semester.

 So I want to make that day a holiday.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110948 home work on Aug 17 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110947 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 208
110946 My happiest moment ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110945 Homework ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 207
110944 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110943 14th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110942 Some people get into debt by buying things they don¡¯t need and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 229
110941 Homework Àü*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 268
110940 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 203
110939 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 6
110938 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 205
110937 Robots to Cook Soldiers\' Chow À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110936 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 2
110935 What do you think about a Dutch treat? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110934 The special exhibition of the Hero ¡°Hong Bum-Do¡± in Bongoh... È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110933 Fall ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 267
110932 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110931 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110930 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 5
110929 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04