¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

holiday

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿µ
2021-07-26 414

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can make a holiday, I want to make a holiday on my birthday. My birthday is March 21st, when the new semester starts at school. So I will play with new friends that morning and spend time with my family in the evening. I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the new semester. So I want to make that day a holiday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yeong! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can make a holiday, I want to make a holiday on my birthday.
>>If I can make a holiday, I want to make my birthday a holiday. 

My birthday is March 21st, when the new semester starts at school. 
>>My birthday is on March 21st, the day when new semesters starts in schools. 

So I will play with new friends that morning and spend time with my family in the evening. 
>> CORRECT

I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the new semester.
>> I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the start of a new semester.

 So I want to make that day a holiday.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108819 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 1
108818 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 2
108817 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 1
108816 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 3
108815 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 459
108814 Today\'s homework ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 377
108813 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 1
108812 My roommate Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 546
108811 Homework {05/24} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 380
108810 Homework (289) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 448
108809 What was your best travel experience so far? ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 690
108808 What advice would you give a foreigner visiting your country who... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 520
108807 homework of friday ±è*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 648
108806 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 3
108805 A good ads? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 459
108804 Cultures and traditions are different in each country so what... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 782
108803 What part of your country would you ideally like to live in? ÇÏ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 393
108802 essay ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 349
108801 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 539
108800 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04