¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should it be celebrated and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*À±
2021-07-26 412

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to make my own holiday, Yoon's day. So, It is Sep 7th. It is a holiday that celebrate my birth! If you ask me why I want to make this holiday, because I want to take a rest or hang out with my friends on my birthday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yun! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to make my own holiday, Yoon's day. 
>> CORRECT

So, It is Sep 7th.
>> So it should be on the 7th of September. 

 It is a holiday that celebrate my birth! 
>> It is a holiday that celebrates my birth!

If you ask me why I want to make this holiday, because I want to take a rest or hang out with my friends on my birthday.
>> If you ask me why I want to make this holiday it's because I want to take a rest or hang out with my friends on my birthday.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111503 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 324
111502 17 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 246
111501 What will you do if yo cannot really beat your deadline or you... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 2
111500 My desk ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111499 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 290
111498 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111497 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111496 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 286
111495 homework & speaking part-1 answer ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 2
111494 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 3
111493 Writing on Skype.. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 275
111492 Writing on Skype.. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 308
111491 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 2
111490 Writing on Skype.. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 288
111489 Air Polution Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 432
111488 Writing on Skype.. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 380
111487 Clouds ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 290
111486 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 0
111485 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 259
111484 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 237

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04