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Hailey\'s bucket list♡

작성자: 정*아
2021-07-29 348

회원님의 영작문

My best one of bucket list is somedays i wanna go back to canada in vancouver.
I was 23 years old, I went to vancouver for working holiday program. At that time,I cried every day because I wanted to go back to Korea and I really miss my family and friends in korea. So, I came back to korea for 8 months.
but now i think about that times, It was quite happy. I'm really miss that times and memories.Each and every one of them is a precious memory to me.
I always regrate what I came back to korea for 8 months and I don't enjoyed more in vancouver.
I can't go back to those days, but I wanna go back to Vancouver somedays and settle down while living or working there, not to just traveling. If not, I want to stay in Vancouver even for 6 months. I think Vancouver is my second country. KKK.
it's 1:30am in korea. so i'm sensetive now

I have a great teacher to me, She is Fiona, so I will study English hard so that I wil achieve my bucket list. Dreams come true.Go for it!
Thank you for listen

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Hailey! 
It's good that you have a bucket list. 
At least you know what to do with your future. 
Keep the fire burning girl^^ 

My best one of bucket list is somedays i wanna go back to canada in vancouver.
>>> One of my bucket list is to go back to Canada someday. 
I was 23 years old, I went to vancouver for working holiday program. 
>>> I went to Vancouver for a working holiday program when I was 23.
At that time, I cried every day because I wanted to go back to Korea and I really miss my family and friends in korea. 
>>> At that time, I cried every day because I wanted to go back to Korea and I missed my family and friends in Korea so much.
So, I came back to korea for 8 months.
but now i think about that times, It was quite happy. 
>>> So I came back to Korea after 8 months.
I was so happy when I think about that time.
I'm really miss that times and memories.
>>> I really miss those days and memories.
Each and every one of them is a precious memory to me.
>>> Each and every memory is precious to me.
I always regrate what I came back to korea for 8 months and I don't enjoyed more in vancouver.
>>> I always regret coming back to Korea after 8 months and I couldn't enjoy Vancouver more.
I can't go back to those days, but I wanna go back to Vancouver somedays and settle down while living or working there, not to just traveling. 
>>> I can't go back to those days, but I want to go back to Vancouver someday and settle down while living or working there as well as traveling.
If not, I want to stay in Vancouver even for 6 months. 
>>> If not, I would like to stay in Vancouver for at least 6 more months.
I think Vancouver is my second country. KKK.
>>> CORRECT!
it's 1:30am in korea. 
>>> It's 1:30 a.m. in Korea now.
so i'm sensetive now
I have a great teacher to me, She is Fiona, so I will study English hard so that I wil achieve my bucket list. 
>>> That's why I'm sensitive now.
I have a good teacher and she is Fiona, so I will study English hard and achieve my bucket list.
Dreams come true.
>>> CORRECT!
Go for it!
>>> CORRECT! 
Thank you for listen. 
>>> Thank you for listening! 
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