¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults whil

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-07-29 548

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Koreans used to live in same villages with whole family. Elderly didn't want children to leave parents house early. They thought that family have to live together. Many parents still want to live with their children before their children get married because Koreans have a lot of concerns about living alone due to the exposure of dangerous situation. Women, especially, are exposed on the crime by the men if they are living alone. That's why parents don't usually allow children to leave home earlier than they expected. However, there are a lot of advantages living alone. Children can be independent and they can learn various skills related lives, for instance laundry and cooking. And the better job opportunities are available when people move to cities or other countries. This, therefore, helps in their career development and broadens their career prospects. Although, there are many benefits living alone, I consider that children stay their parent's house because they can save money

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^ It's been a long time. I miss having conversations with you. Anyway, I have a lot of life issues these days, hahaha but everything is fine. :)
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Koreans used to live in same villages with whole family. 
>>> Koreans used to live in the same villages with their whole family. 
Elderly didn't want children to leave parents house early. 
>>> The elderly didn't want their children to leave their parents' house early. 
They thought that family have to live together.
>>> They thought that families have to live together.
 Many parents still want to live with their children before their children get married because Koreans have a lot of concerns about living alone due to the exposure of dangerous situation.
>>> CORRECT
 Women, especially, are exposed on the crime by the men if they are living alone. 
>>>  Women, especially, are exposed on crimes by men if they are living alone. 
That's why parents don't usually allow children to leave home earlier than they expected. 
>>> That's why parents don't usually allow their  children to leave home earlier than expected. 
However, there are a lot of advantages living alone. 
>>> CORRECT
Children can be independent and they can learn various skills related lives, for instance laundry and cooking. 
>>> Children can be independent and they can learn various skills related to living, for instance laundry and cooking. 
And the better job opportunities are available when people move to cities or other countries. 
>>> And better job opportunities are available when people move to cities or other countries. 
This, therefore, helps in their career development and broadens their career prospects. 
>>> CORRECT
Although, there are many benefits living alone, I consider that children stay their parent's house because they can save money
>>> Although, there are many benefits living alone, I consider that children must stay with their parent's house because they can save money.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112646 Homework: Do you think you are healthy? Why do you say so? Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 445
112645 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 559
112644 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 547
112643 Can you tell me about a goal you have? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 1
112642 Is this sentence correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 453
112641 How do you think can the delivery services in South Korea be... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 507
112640 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 574
112639 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 508
112638 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 737
112637 Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women.... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 512
112636 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 1
112635 Amusement park ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 515
112634 Do you consider yourself a creative person? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 2
112633 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 1
112632 \"Beauty is only skin deep,\" What do you think this means? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 492
112631 Korea\'s renewable enery too expensive, shunned by private... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 3
112630 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 470
112629 HOMEWORK ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 1
112628 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 1
112627 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 501

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04