¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults whil

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-07-29 172

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Koreans used to live in same villages with whole family. Elderly didn't want children to leave parents house early. They thought that family have to live together. Many parents still want to live with their children before their children get married because Koreans have a lot of concerns about living alone due to the exposure of dangerous situation. Women, especially, are exposed on the crime by the men if they are living alone. That's why parents don't usually allow children to leave home earlier than they expected. However, there are a lot of advantages living alone. Children can be independent and they can learn various skills related lives, for instance laundry and cooking. And the better job opportunities are available when people move to cities or other countries. This, therefore, helps in their career development and broadens their career prospects. Although, there are many benefits living alone, I consider that children stay their parent's house because they can save money

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^ It's been a long time. I miss having conversations with you. Anyway, I have a lot of life issues these days, hahaha but everything is fine. :)
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Koreans used to live in same villages with whole family. 
>>> Koreans used to live in the same villages with their whole family. 
Elderly didn't want children to leave parents house early. 
>>> The elderly didn't want their children to leave their parents' house early. 
They thought that family have to live together.
>>> They thought that families have to live together.
 Many parents still want to live with their children before their children get married because Koreans have a lot of concerns about living alone due to the exposure of dangerous situation.
>>> CORRECT
 Women, especially, are exposed on the crime by the men if they are living alone. 
>>>  Women, especially, are exposed on crimes by men if they are living alone. 
That's why parents don't usually allow children to leave home earlier than they expected. 
>>> That's why parents don't usually allow their  children to leave home earlier than expected. 
However, there are a lot of advantages living alone. 
>>> CORRECT
Children can be independent and they can learn various skills related lives, for instance laundry and cooking. 
>>> Children can be independent and they can learn various skills related to living, for instance laundry and cooking. 
And the better job opportunities are available when people move to cities or other countries. 
>>> And better job opportunities are available when people move to cities or other countries. 
This, therefore, helps in their career development and broadens their career prospects. 
>>> CORRECT
Although, there are many benefits living alone, I consider that children stay their parent's house because they can save money
>>> Although, there are many benefits living alone, I consider that children must stay with their parent's house because they can save money.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110760 How do you choose the books you are going to read? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 2
110759 Home work ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 5
110758 Page 17 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 181
110757 What is your most luxurious possession? Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 172
110756 10th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 2
110755 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 3
110754 21/08/11 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 230
110753 Months ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 177
110752 Homework 8.11 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 183
110751 Abuse of senior citizens rising À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 1
110750 correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 3
110749 email ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 227
110748 home work on Aug 11 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 1
110747 Are you a foodie or a picky eater? Tell me what made you... ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 197
110746 Homwork À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 235
110745 home work on Aug 9 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 1
110744 Are you well-adjusted to urban living? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-11 270
110743 More and more people are finding it increasingly important to... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 225
110742 On my business Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 219
110741 Homework (311) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 196

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04