¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults whil

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-07-29 235

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Koreans used to live in same villages with whole family. Elderly didn't want children to leave parents house early. They thought that family have to live together. Many parents still want to live with their children before their children get married because Koreans have a lot of concerns about living alone due to the exposure of dangerous situation. Women, especially, are exposed on the crime by the men if they are living alone. That's why parents don't usually allow children to leave home earlier than they expected. However, there are a lot of advantages living alone. Children can be independent and they can learn various skills related lives, for instance laundry and cooking. And the better job opportunities are available when people move to cities or other countries. This, therefore, helps in their career development and broadens their career prospects. Although, there are many benefits living alone, I consider that children stay their parent's house because they can save money

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^ It's been a long time. I miss having conversations with you. Anyway, I have a lot of life issues these days, hahaha but everything is fine. :)
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Koreans used to live in same villages with whole family. 
>>> Koreans used to live in the same villages with their whole family. 
Elderly didn't want children to leave parents house early. 
>>> The elderly didn't want their children to leave their parents' house early. 
They thought that family have to live together.
>>> They thought that families have to live together.
 Many parents still want to live with their children before their children get married because Koreans have a lot of concerns about living alone due to the exposure of dangerous situation.
>>> CORRECT
 Women, especially, are exposed on the crime by the men if they are living alone. 
>>>  Women, especially, are exposed on crimes by men if they are living alone. 
That's why parents don't usually allow children to leave home earlier than they expected. 
>>> That's why parents don't usually allow their  children to leave home earlier than expected. 
However, there are a lot of advantages living alone. 
>>> CORRECT
Children can be independent and they can learn various skills related lives, for instance laundry and cooking. 
>>> Children can be independent and they can learn various skills related to living, for instance laundry and cooking. 
And the better job opportunities are available when people move to cities or other countries. 
>>> And better job opportunities are available when people move to cities or other countries. 
This, therefore, helps in their career development and broadens their career prospects. 
>>> CORRECT
Although, there are many benefits living alone, I consider that children stay their parent's house because they can save money
>>> Although, there are many benefits living alone, I consider that children must stay with their parent's house because they can save money.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109344 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 1
109343 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 295
109342 Celebrities call on G7 to share vaccines with poor nation À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 2
109341 Korean Open More Stock Accounts Than Bank Accounts À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 2
109340 Please use them in a sentence: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 2
109339 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 304
109338 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 1
109337 Have you ever suffered from insomnia? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 2
109336 What kind of business do want to set up? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 285
109335 Plan to expand substitute holiday system gaining traction À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 1
109334 South Korea confirms 5 more breakthrough infections, total now... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 1
109333 Do you think that a person\'s eating habits affect how long they... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 5
109332 what is your favorite food, why? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 3
109331 Do you want to change your skin color? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 319
109330 Love À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 317
109329 What social activity with other people except your family do you... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 289
109328 The safest of transport ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 303
109327 Is there a kind of sport that you would like to try? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 3
109326 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 376
109325 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 307

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04