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영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I worked very hard!!!^^;;

작성자: 김*랑
2021-07-29 352

회원님의 영작문



I agree with Brad. Space exploration, of course, costs a lot of money, but I don't think it should be view as a waste of money, because it will be used to find and discover things that will be useful in the future, not to spend it on unnecessary things. Brad said, "Technology is very important, and space exploration allows us to find the resources we need on Earth,"To add to Brad's comments, using technology has allowed us to advance a lot since then. Technology moves in and out of the past, present and future, permeating our lives a lot. But if we continue to develop with only what we have now, we will not make any further progress. I hope that technology should not be develop only on this planet, but go to a larger world, like space, and develop technology with sufficient information and resources to ensure great risks in the future. This is allow us to realize and acknowledge how important space exploration is.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Maria!

Technology and science, may it be in or outside the earth, is crucial in our daily lives. We have long benefitted from these technological breakthroughs such as satellites that bring us signal on our television, the internet that we use for online studying, vaccine that stops further spread of virus, and the like.

So as Brad had said it, technology would demand a big amount of monetary finance however, if we do not study science further, we may not enjoy all the things we have today and all those in the future.

I thank you for this answer once again, Maria. ^^

See you then!

-T. Donna =)

I agree with Brad.
>> Correct! 

Space exploration, of course, costs a lot of money, but I don't think it should be view as a waste of money, because it will be used to find and discover things that will be useful in the future, not to spend it on unnecessary things. 
>> Space exploration, of course, costs a lot of money, but I don't think it should be viewed as a waste of money because it will be used to find and discover things that will be useful in the future, not to spend it on unnecessary things. 

Brad said, "Technology is very important, and space exploration allows us to find the resources we need on Earth,"
>> Correct!
Or: Brad said, "Technology is very important, and space exploration allows us to find the resources we need on Earth."

To add to Brad's comments, using technology has allowed us to advance a lot since then. 
>> Correct!

Technology moves in and out of the past, present and future, permeating our lives a lot. 
>> Correct!

But if we continue to develop with only what we have now, we will not make any further progress. 
>> Correct!

I hope that technology should not be develop only on this planet, but go to a larger world, like space, and develop technology with sufficient information and resources to ensure great risks in the future. 
>> I hope that technology should not be developed only on this planet, but to go to a larger world, like space, and develop technology with sufficient information and resources to ensure great risks in the future. 

This is allow us to realize and acknowledge how important space exploration is.
>> This allows us to realize and acknowledge how important space exploration is.
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