¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Neighborhood

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-08-02 374

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme: [ESSAY] What's your ideal neighborhood?
It is now.
Because last house was wide but it was 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipeeds.
But now, our house is wide and it's 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipeeds.
And my room is so big and we have a cloth room.
I like my resent house!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Clair!
Well done! Catch you on Wednesday!

Cheers,
Jean~~


                           Theme: [ESSAY] What's your ideal neighborhood?
It is now. 
Because last house was wide but it was 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipeeds.
>> My current neighborhood is my ideal one because although my previous house was spacious, it was on the 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipedes. [Note the correct spelling of "centipedes".]

But now, our house is wide and it's 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipeeds.
>> But our current house is not only roomy but it's also on the 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipedes. [Note the correct spelling of "centipedes".]

And my room is so big and we have a cloth room.
>> And my room is so big and we have a clothes room.
>> OR: Also, my room is relatively spacious and we have a wardrobe. 

I like my resent house! [Note the correct spelling of "recent".]
>> I certainly like my present house!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112090 People generally know that the environment is important.... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 923
112089 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 1
112088 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 1
112087 What do you like about studying? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 426
112086 North Korea Test-fires Long-Range Cruise Missle, State Media Says À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 1
112085 Tuesday, September 14, 2021 Claire ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 449
112084 35th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 2
112083 mandatory collection of school ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 418
112082 Which of your friends or family posts the most entertaining... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 494
112081 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 0
112080 What takes up most of your time? Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 0
112079 What factors do you think will maintain your interest in this... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 371
112078 Fairytale ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 400
112077 What situation excite and motivate you? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 706
112076 Do you like the environment in your country? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 474
112075 Are you good in replying emails from your clients? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 625
112074 Tell me about a challenge or conflict you¡¯ve faced at work (or... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 353
112073 What was your most memorable trip? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 381
112072 What are the popular kinds of diet you\'ve heard of? ¼­*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 422
112071 speaking part-2 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04