¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Neighborhood

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-08-02 292

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme: [ESSAY] What's your ideal neighborhood?
It is now.
Because last house was wide but it was 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipeeds.
But now, our house is wide and it's 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipeeds.
And my room is so big and we have a cloth room.
I like my resent house!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Clair!
Well done! Catch you on Wednesday!

Cheers,
Jean~~


                           Theme: [ESSAY] What's your ideal neighborhood?
It is now. 
Because last house was wide but it was 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipeeds.
>> My current neighborhood is my ideal one because although my previous house was spacious, it was on the 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipedes. [Note the correct spelling of "centipedes".]

But now, our house is wide and it's 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipeeds.
>> But our current house is not only roomy but it's also on the 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipedes. [Note the correct spelling of "centipedes".]

And my room is so big and we have a cloth room.
>> And my room is so big and we have a clothes room.
>> OR: Also, my room is relatively spacious and we have a wardrobe. 

I like my resent house! [Note the correct spelling of "recent".]
>> I certainly like my present house!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111197 Perhaps in the cave À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111196 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 289
111195 If you had 3 wishes, what would it be and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 0
111194 Teacher~ À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111193 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 362
111192 What are the important things to consider when applying for a... ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111191 The pros and cons of studying at home are¡¦ ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 436
111190 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 262
111189 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 302
111188 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 304
111187 Can you be happy if you are poor? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 1
111186 In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of studying at home? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 336
111185 Rainy day Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 480
111184 How old are you? ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 1
111183 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 341
111182 Homework Àü*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 259
111181 Nowadays employment options are changing and employees cannot... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 267
111180 If you were a medical student during the time of the pandemic,... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 285
111179 17th homewokr Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 3
111178 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04