¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Neighborhood

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-08-02 266

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme: [ESSAY] What's your ideal neighborhood?
It is now.
Because last house was wide but it was 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipeeds.
But now, our house is wide and it's 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipeeds.
And my room is so big and we have a cloth room.
I like my resent house!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Clair!
Well done! Catch you on Wednesday!

Cheers,
Jean~~


                           Theme: [ESSAY] What's your ideal neighborhood?
It is now. 
Because last house was wide but it was 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipeeds.
>> My current neighborhood is my ideal one because although my previous house was spacious, it was on the 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipedes. [Note the correct spelling of "centipedes".]

But now, our house is wide and it's 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipeeds.
>> But our current house is not only roomy but it's also on the 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipedes. [Note the correct spelling of "centipedes".]

And my room is so big and we have a cloth room.
>> And my room is so big and we have a clothes room.
>> OR: Also, my room is relatively spacious and we have a wardrobe. 

I like my resent house! [Note the correct spelling of "recent".]
>> I certainly like my present house!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110386 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 213
110385 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 398
110384 South Korean instant noodle exports hit record high À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 1
110383 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 3
110382 1st Homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 1
110381 home work on July 28 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 1
110380 Some people encourage young children to leave their parents... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 360
110379 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 2
110378 Difference between Korean education and overseas education ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 397
110377 dish ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 424
110376 What food would you like to learn how to cook and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 360
110375 Hailey\'s bucket list¢½ Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-29 549
110374 Unknown in universe. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 321
110373 Hi kate! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 1
110372 What is your favorite subject to study in school? Why? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 470
110371 My ideal vacation ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 322
110370 What food would you like to learn how to cook and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 513
110369 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 376
110368 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 462
110367 Travel 2 ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-28 7

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04