¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Neighborhood

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-08-02 350

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme: [ESSAY] What's your ideal neighborhood?
It is now.
Because last house was wide but it was 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipeeds.
But now, our house is wide and it's 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipeeds.
And my room is so big and we have a cloth room.
I like my resent house!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Clair!
Well done! Catch you on Wednesday!

Cheers,
Jean~~


                           Theme: [ESSAY] What's your ideal neighborhood?
It is now. 
Because last house was wide but it was 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipeeds.
>> My current neighborhood is my ideal one because although my previous house was spacious, it was on the 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipedes. [Note the correct spelling of "centipedes".]

But now, our house is wide and it's 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipeeds.
>> But our current house is not only roomy but it's also on the 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipedes. [Note the correct spelling of "centipedes".]

And my room is so big and we have a cloth room.
>> And my room is so big and we have a clothes room.
>> OR: Also, my room is relatively spacious and we have a wardrobe. 

I like my resent house! [Note the correct spelling of "recent".]
>> I certainly like my present house!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109835 Argue À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 359
109834 What are the ways people with problems sleeping can do to help... ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 558
109833 What annoys you about yourself? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109832 Who are you named after? What is the meaning of your name? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 492
109831 Is poverty a reason to commit crime? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 1
109830 To faith ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 1
109829 Where do you usually get your news from? ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 446
109828 Chocolate that attracts people ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 520
109827 Is it necessary to have a goal? Why do you say so? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 611
109826 In 10 years\' time, ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 1
109825 How do you think is public transportation going to change in the... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 0
109824 Do you think playing video games are bad for kids? Why or why... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 0
109823 Give me one festival in your hometown that you enjoy the most. ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 0
109822 My health condition ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 547
109821 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 1
109820 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 0
109819 email 5 of July. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 477
109818 email(5 of July) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 428
109817 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 400
109816 Homework {07/05} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-05 452

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04