¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Neighborhood

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-08-02 369

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme: [ESSAY] What's your ideal neighborhood?
It is now.
Because last house was wide but it was 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipeeds.
But now, our house is wide and it's 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipeeds.
And my room is so big and we have a cloth room.
I like my resent house!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Clair!
Well done! Catch you on Wednesday!

Cheers,
Jean~~


                           Theme: [ESSAY] What's your ideal neighborhood?
It is now. 
Because last house was wide but it was 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipeeds.
>> My current neighborhood is my ideal one because although my previous house was spacious, it was on the 1st floor so it had so many insects and centipedes. [Note the correct spelling of "centipedes".]

But now, our house is wide and it's 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipeeds.
>> But our current house is not only roomy but it's also on the 4th floor so it doesn't have so many insects and centipedes. [Note the correct spelling of "centipedes".]

And my room is so big and we have a cloth room.
>> And my room is so big and we have a clothes room.
>> OR: Also, my room is relatively spacious and we have a wardrobe. 

I like my resent house! [Note the correct spelling of "recent".]
>> I certainly like my present house!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109652 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-26 366
109651 What do you feel when you see good looking people? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 1
109650 Describe the set up of an ideal family. (In your own idea or... ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 510
109649 My favorite poem ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 552
109648 Email 3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 506
109647 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 474
109646 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 374
109645 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 422
109644 My favorite mystery story is . ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 489
109643 Did you enjoy festivals better when you were still younger or do... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 0
109642 Hello buddy ½É*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 511
109641 What is a very important thing to remember when driving a car?... ÃÖ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 416
109640 What are some things about the eating habits you want to change? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 485
109639 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 391
109638 What food can you recommend for me to eat in Korea? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 517
109637 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 1
109636 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 1
109635 What is the best place for a vacation in your country? Why is it... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 501
109634 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 372
109633 homework : essay À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-25 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04